


Third time's the charm

by Craftybadger1234



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bottom Harry Potter, Fluff and Angst, Forgiveness, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Misunderstandings, Potions Accident, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Confusion, Top Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-16 11:21:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 31,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12341679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craftybadger1234/pseuds/Craftybadger1234
Summary: The first time, potions made them do it. The second time, it was curiosity. But the third time...Brief Ginny/Harry that falls by the wayside when Harry can't get Malfoy out of his head.Update - I've added a second chapter. Harry tells his friends and it doesn't go over well, and he finds a purpose in life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There are so many "potions made them do it" stories and I don't think I've read one where Harry or Draco were in a relationship with someone else when it happened. What if it called one's sexuality into question? Then I hated myself because that's horrible and rape doesn't make anyone say, "Yes, I'd like to do that again." Except this is our babies Harry and Draco and we all know they're meant to be together so we'll just file this story under "things that are okay in fanfic that are horrible in real life."
> 
> P.S. I blatantly stole the Gryffindor/Slytherin door slamming, and the "magic in bed" from the magical interwebs via Pinterest.

Professor Stanton eyed Harry as he passed back the latest Potions essay. “Please see me after class, Mr Potter. And instead of brewing today, you will work on fixing this essay.” He handed Harry a book on magical fungi and continued passing out the essays.

Harry bit back a groan as he looked his essay over. Another poor and another riot of red ink. Fuck, that meant another lecture. What excuse could he give for his dismal grade this time? Yet again, he wished Professor Slughorn had stayed, but his health after the final battle was too shaky to withstand another year of teaching. He’d always been so easy to manipulate. Harry missed that.

Glumly he set to searching through his textbook and the magical fungi book, trying to find where he went wrong. Around him the other students bustled about with their potion. He knew he’d be making this one up on his own time. Again. It might be difficult to get Hermione to help him. She’d warned him last time about learning to work on his own.

When the class was finally dismissed, he nodded to Ron and Hermione as they left and waited at his table for whatever lecture Professor Stanton was going to deliver. Malfoy, also staying behind for some reason, grinned at him from the table at the front. Whatever was coming was not going to be good.

“Mr Potter, over the past two months, your Potions grades have been abysmal. I wasn’t even sure why you took this class, with as much as you seem to hate it. In talking with the Headmistress, it has been brought to my attention you wish to be an Auror. Is this correct?”

“Er, I guess?” Harry didn’t actually know anymore and didn’t really want to discuss it in front of Malfoy.

“You guess?” Harry smothered a giggle as the Professor visibly restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “I don’t have time to work with a student that only ‘guesses’ they need my class. The workload for the professors has been quite heavy this term, with all the extra students.”

“I’m sorry, sir. Up until recently I was pretty sure I would be dead before a career decision would need to be made so…” Harry blushed as a choked off laugh was heard from Malfoy.

“Mr Potter, please take this seriously. Yes, the war was terrible, and yes we lost many good people. But you’ve had nearly six months to consider what you’ll do with your future. If it doesn’t involve Potions, I want you out of my class.”

“Er, yes sir. I’ll consider it.” Harry’s eyes darted around the room. Was that all? Was he dismissed? He hesitantly reached for his bag but before he could stand with it, Professor Stanton glared at him.

“It has also been brought to my attention that the make-up brewing you’ve been doing has largely been completed by Ms Granger. Is this correct?”

“Well, she does help me some. Sir.” Harry said with a sheepish smile. “We work well together.”

“Yes, you would say that when she supplies you with all the correct answers. I think it best you work with someone outside of your own House. Someone that will not be - awed - by your celebrity.”

A sinking feeling hit Harry hard. He looked at Malfoy again, who now wore a smirking smile.

“Mr Malfoy, here, is top of the class. He has been helping to tutor some of the younger years and I think he would be a suitable choice for bringing your Potions scores up to par. If you do not show marked improvement by the end of this term, you will be dropped from my class. Do you understand?”

Harry’s stomach squirmed uncomfortably. “Yes sir,” he said quietly.

“Very good. I expect a well-brewed Ice Potion by our next class. Mr Malfoy will assist you. And by assist, I mean keep you from making catastrophic mistakes. You are to brew this potion on your own, under his _supervision_ only. Understood?”

“Yes sir.”

Professor Stanton left the room in a swirl of robes that must be part of the training for creepy Potions Masters. Harry groaned and dropped his head to his desk.

“Well, Potter, this should be an adventure.” Malfoy was openly grinning now, as Harry glared at him.

“I’ll get the ingredients…” Harry mumbled.

“Oh no, I’m sorry to say I can’t right now. I’m quite busy and can’t just rearrange my entire schedule on your whim.”

Harry rolled his eyes. So much for getting this over with quickly. “When do you want to meet then?”

Malfoy slung his bag over his shoulder and smirked, “After dinner will work. We’ll meet here at eight.” He smiled at Harry as he left the room, “And don’t be late. I won’t wait for you.”

\--------

Harry poked at his potatoes. “Malfoy is a prat. I can’t believe I have to work with him!”

Hermione shrugged, “At least it’s just a simple Ice Potion. It shouldn’t be too hard. You just have to be careful when you slice the mushrooms.” 

“Ugh, I completely messed that all up in my essay.” Harry shoved his plate away and aimlessly tore a roll into tiny bites. He wished quidditch practice didn’t run so long. He needed a hug from Ginny.

“Maybe if you spent more time revising and less time snogging Ginny, you’d accomplish something.”

Harry scowled, “Thank you for that excellent advice. This is the part of the conversation where I remind you I died and want to celebrate being alive before worrying about house points and essays.” Angrily he snagged another roll to take with him, and shouldered his bag.

“Harry - “ Hermione began.

“Please don’t, all right?” Harry shook his head. “I’ve got to go. Tell Gin I’m sorry I missed her.”

\--------

Harry wandered the castle aimlessly to avoid Hermione and Ron for a while. He was sick of the lectures from Hermione about his future. Didn’t he deserve a little fun? Why couldn’t she support him like Ginny did?

Their friendship resumed easily after the war. She helped plan his trip abroad and packed him goodies to uncover in each new country. Things picked up when he returned, spending the last weeks of summer living at the Burrow. Ginny laughed at his attempted guitar playing but sang along with him anyway. She learned to knit with him under Molly’s guidance. She bought him a book on juggling and healed the bruise to his eye when he was clocked with a dropped club. 

But things changed when she kissed him so sweetly on the Hogwarts Express, once they'd left her mother's watchful eye. In the month and a half since then, they'd been taking their relationship slowly. Harry needed things to go well this time. 

He was sick of thinking about his future and education and boring grown-up things. He had money, probably more than he could spend in a lifetime, so why couldn’t he enjoy himself a little? 

Lost in thought, he nearly missed his deadline with Malfoy. He raced down to the Potions classroom, thankful that Malfoy was ten minutes late and didn’t notice Harry’s own tardiness.

“All right, Potter, this is a fairly simple potion even a first year can make. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Harry lit the fire under his cauldron to heat it. The water base inside began to simmer as he finished slicing the bursting mushrooms. He added them to his cauldron and began stirring. The liquid turned blue, although not as vivid as he’d hoped.

“You need to slice them thinner.”

Harry grimaced as Malfoy vanished the liquid and bade him start again. This time the potion was too thick.

“Not enough base.” Malfoy grinned as he vanished the second attempt.

Harry, struggling to keep his temper in check, sliced more mushrooms and added them to the simmering base a third time. 

“You didn’t stir slow enough,” Malfoy sighed as he vanished the potion yet again.

“Damn it, Malfoy! Surely that was close enough!”

“Close enough only counts in reducto and gobstones. You have to be precise with Potions or you could cause serious damage. Get it right.”

Harry grumbled under his breath but made his way to the potions cupboard for more mushrooms. Malfoy followed, lecturing him on proper technique. In the small cupboard, Harry searched the shelves for the jar of bursting mushrooms.

“Not those. See the label? They’ve been dried and crushed. You need whole, fresh ones. Are those glasses real or strictly cosmetic? Either way, they’re failing miserably.”

“Malfoy, you absolute prat! Are you done making this as difficult as possible?” Anger bubbled up in Harry’s stomach.

“Not really, no,” Malfoy said with his infuriating grin. “I can annoy you all night. It’s not my grade riding on the outcome after all.”

“The faster I get done, the faster we’re both free. Don’t you have some grand, lofty plans for the evening?”

“Well, I _did_ have plans but I canceled them so I could ruin your plans. Had a hot date, tonight?” It was the smirk that did Harry in.

“You selfish prat!” Harry shoved at Malfoy, who immediately shoved back. Harry tripped against the vat of oil base, causing a leak all over the floor. Jars shattered around them as they shoved each other into shelves, causing various potions ingredients to rain down. Without care, the two boys rolled in the broken glass and bits of powdered this and pickled that until the air, now a pale, shimmery green, thickened and warmed around them.

The rage bubbling under his skin morphed into a charged buoyancy. Harry’s pulse raced, his breath came in short bursts. He gulped down the poisoned air, his eyes dilating with arousal. From one blink of an eye to the next, Malfoy’s touch became trails of hot pleasure. He groaned and rubbed his cheeks on Malfoy’s cheeks. He heard an answering groan but was too lost in a thrall to respond.

His cock sprang to life in his pants, his body twisting to get more friction on it. Hands that were punching now caressed gently. Legs that were kicking now wrapped around his waist. Harry rocked forward, meeting Malfoy’s erection. Something in the back of his mind told him to stop, to back away, to think of Ginny. But it was smothered easily by the feel of Malfoy’s hands on his naked chest. Where did his clothes go?

Harry moaned as Malfoy rolled them. Now it was Harry’s legs wrapped around Malfoy’s waist. Malfoy’s clothes vanished and it felt even better now that they were skin to skin. Harry felt the tiny shards of broken glass in his back and arse but the pain couldn’t break through the heavy cloud of bliss. All he wanted was to come. And hard.

Malfoy smeared his fingers through the oil by Harry’s head as he murmured a spell that seared Harry’s insides. Fingers coated in the bluish oily substance, Malfoy shoved them inside Harry’s arse. He shrieked from the pain of it but it quickly changed to a moan of pleasure as Malfoy licked along his neck and nibbled on his collarbone. He just needed to feel more of Malfoy’s skin on his. Nothing else mattered.

Tears spilled from Harry’s eyes when Malfoy’s cock breached him. For a moment, the pain was bigger than the pleasure but his sharp gasps brought more of the thick air into his lungs and he was lulled once again into hot exhilaration. Malfoy fucked him with wild abandon. A hand, bloodied from broken glass, grasped his hair and pulled his head up for a sloppy kiss. Harry stroked his cock with a broken rhythm. 

Pain and pleasure twisted in his head driving him into a high euphoria that burst when his orgasm swept through him, spraying his chest with a mess of white. Malfoy smeared it around his chest then grabbed Harry’s biceps hard enough to bruise as he thrust a few more times and grunted out his own orgasm. 

Harry was crashing hard, now that he’d come and the poison had dissipated. The air felt stifling instead of erotic. Every breath sent pain, instead of pleasure, across his skin. Malfoy’s weight was crushing.

It hurt in every piece of his body.

Harry groaned heavily, “Move. You have to move.”

Malfoy tried to pull out carefully but there was too much damage done to Harry. He choked off a cry as Malfoy got to his feet. Tears streamed but Harry was filthy, with the random crushed ingredients and blood from the broken glass, and couldn't even wipe his face.

“I’ll - I’ll get my wand,” Malfoy said shakily. Harry heard him stumble through the classroom to their work table. Returning with his wand, it took three tries to banish the broken glass and the ingredients swimming in oil on the floor. “We should - should go to the infirmary.”

Harry tried to stand but the cuts on his back made moving almost impossible. He sat on the floor, panting, trying to mentally will the pain away. “Where are our clothes?” he rasped out.

Malfoy looked around, as though expecting a pile of clothes to appear. “I don’t know. I don’t know who vanished them or when.”

“Winky?” Harry called out hesitantly. He sagged in relief when the little house elf popped into the room.

“Harry Potter!” She grabbed her ears and tugged them down around her chin when she saw the state of him.

“It’s all right, Winky,” Harry grimaced. “I need help. Can you go to my room, and get me some clothes? And - and for Malfoy too?”

“Of course. Right away!” 

Before she could apparate away, Harry held out a hand. “Don’t let anyone know, all right?”

“No, of course not Harry Potter! Winky is being right back, sir!” she disappeared with a small pop. 

“Shall I clean you up?”

“No!” Harry gasped as he twitched in nervousness on the floor. Malfoy was too shaky to perform magic properly. “No, Madame Pomfrey will take care of it. Don’t - you just stay over there.”

Winky popped back with clothes for the two boys. She snapped her fingers and Harry was suddenly dressed. 

“Thank you, Winky. Do you think you could take me to the infirmary?”

“Of course, Harry Potter! And Draco Malfoy?”

“Him, too, I suppose.”

Harry had never been more relieved at Pomfrey’s habit of healing without asking embarrassing questions. It would take a complete idiot not to put the pieces together but she made not a single comment. Not to Malfoy, with his cut hands and knees, the splattering of dried come and blood he couldn't remove from his chest and belly. Nor to Harry, with the cuts on his back, the same mess on his chest and belly, the blood on his face, and worst of all, the slight tearing of his arsehole.

“You’ll both stay here for observation. Drink this.” Madam Pomfrey handed them each a vial of buttery yellow liquid and encouraged them to sleep. “The Headmistress will be here to speak with you in the morning.”

\--------

Harry came awake slowly, to the murmured conversation of Pomfrey and McGonagall. A glance at the bed next to him showed Malfoy still asleep. Carefully he sat up, relieved to feel no pain from yesterday’s trauma.

“Mr Potter, you’re awake!” The Headmistress conjured a chair between the ends of the two beds and sat with her hands in her sleeves. She glanced at Malfoy, then spoke kindly, “Tell me what happened.”

“It was,” Harry cleared his throat, “it was an accident. We were in the supply cupboard in the Potions lab, fighting over something stupid.” He glanced at the next bed as Malfoy started to stir. “We broke a bunch of jars and they must have mixed into some kind of…”

Malfoy jolted awake and sat up in his bed. “What - Potter! Are you all right?”

“Yes,” Harry said brusquely to his lap, “I’m fine.” He ignored Malfoy and continued, “It wasn’t anyone’s fault. And it’s over and I’d rather just forget it all happened.”

“We can’t ignore assault.”

Harry’s stomach dropped at the label. “We’re both of age. Who’s to say it wasn’t consensual?” At her stern look he shrugged, “Fine. But he wasn’t in his right mind, and neither was I. Please, Minerva. If word gets out… We’ve both been punished enough, don’t you think?”

Her mouth twisted as she looked at Malfoy’s sickly pale face and his hands twisted in his blanket.

“Please let this go,” Harry said softly. “I promise no retaliation. No revenge. No more fighting. I won't tell anyone. We’ll go our separate ways and this’ll be the end of it.”

“What about your Potions NEWT?” Malfoy asked quietly.

Harry’s eyes didn’t leave McGonagall’s as he said, “Fuck Potions.” Her mouth twitched. “I hate that class anyway.” 

“I’ll inform Professor Stanton that you are no longer taking his class - “

Harry sagged in relief.

“- but if I see a hint of anything… untoward between you two, I _will_ notify the proper authorities. Is that clear?”

“Yes. Thank you, Minerva.” Harry looked over her shoulder at Madam Pomfrey. “We’re free to go, then?”

“Yes,” Pomfrey said. “If you have any other problems, please return immediately. And please take it easy, Mr Potter. Both of you are excused from class today.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” Harry rose gingerly from the bed and left without a backward glance.

\--------

The Gryffindor common room was empty when Harry went through, as almost everyone was in class this early in the day. He went straight to his room and stripped for a hot shower. In the bathroom he looked at his back in the mirror. No scarring from the broken jars. That was a small comfort.

Harry stepped into the scalding hot spray and let it run down his body, his hands braced on the tiled wall. He tried not to think of Malfoy, of the hot waves of pleasure, of the damage now healed. Fuck, what was he going to tell Ginny? Should he tell Ron and Hermione? He groaned into the spray, letting it gargle in his throat. Soaping up his flannel, he attacked his skin with vigor, scrubbing it raw. He stayed in the water for nearly an hour, worrying his options.

Clean as he could hope to be, he pulled on soft pyjamas and curled up in bed. It was going to be a long day. He tossed and turned, dreaming of short blond hair, and long black tresses. He dreamed of strong pale hands, and delicate hands with bright red nails. He dreamed of the hot burn in his arse, and the slick slide of his cock.

He burned with shame and lust, rage and confusion. He pulled the covers over his head and rocked himself until a real and dreamless sleep claimed him.

\--------

Harry awoke when Ron, Hermione, and Ginny came in during their lunch break.

“Harry!” Ginny exclaimed as she jumped on his bed and enveloped him in a warm hug. Harry breathed in the sweet scent of her hair and relaxed into her.

“Ginny,” he sighed, returning the hug.

She pulled back and looked him over, hands caressing his cheeks, and between his furrowed brows. “Are you all right?” she asked. “McGonagall said you were in the infirmary?”

He kissed her cheek and gave a small smile. “Why don’t you all sit down?”

Ron and Hermione exchanged worried looks and sat on Ron’s bed across from Harry and Ginny. Harry took Ginny’s hand and sighed heavily.

“You know that yesterday evening I was supposed to brew the Ice Potion with Malfoy?” 

“Did you two fight?” Ginny asked. “Did you get hurt?”

Harry huffed a laugh. “Er, yes. We were in the supply cupboard…” He trailed off, unsure what to say next. How much did they need to know? “We broke a bunch of jars in our fight. It - poisoned the air.”

Hermione gasped. “Oh my! How did you get to the hospital wing?”

“Winky.” Harry scrubbed at his hair. Looking at them, suddenly he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t break their hearts. “I had some cuts on my back, some bruising. But it’s healed now.”

“Any scarring?” Ginny asked, running her hands up his back. He shivered and leaned away from her hand.

“No. It’s fine. So long as Malfoy and I stay away from each other, it’ll be fine.”

Ron snorted. “Eh, that’s no hardship. Slimy git usually stays out of our way anyway.”

“What about your potions work?” Hermione asked.

“I’m dropping potions. McGonagall said she would let Professor Stanton know.”

“Oh!” Ginny smiled, “That means we have a free period together!”

Harry returned the smile and pulled her in for a hug. He kissed the top of her head.

Hermione frowned, “But what about being an Auror? You’ll need a Potions NEWT for that.”

Harry shrugged it off. “I don’t know that I care. I’m not sure I want to be an Auror anymore.” He bit his lip and looked to Ginny for approval. 

“That’s okay,” Ginny said softly. “We’ll worry about that later.”

“Right,” Ron slapped his hands down on his thighs and stood. “How about lunch? You up for that, Harry?”

Harry nodded, his throat thick with unnamed emotion.

Ginny squeezed his hand and followed Ron and Hermione out so Harry could change out of his pyjamas. They met him in the common room and left for the Great Hall together. Harry held tight to Ginny’s hand and tried not to look for Malfoy as he sat down. But that fucking blond hair was near impossible to miss. 

Malfoy sat at one end, with Parkinson, Zabini, and Nott. None of them looked in Harry’s direction and he could only hope it was because they didn’t know anything about what happened the night before. His appetite near gone, Harry only picked at his food while the others chattered. 

When Harry saw Malfoy readying to leave, he made plans to see Ginny when her classes were over and kissed her goodbye. He followed Malfoy into the Entrance Hall and called out for him to stop.

Malfoy froze in place and turned slowly to face Harry. “Potter,” he said quietly, his face a calm, cool mask.

“Malfoy.” Harry approached, avoiding eye contact. “I just wanted to - to ask. Did you - er, you didn’t tell anyone? About… “

Malfoy’s eyes widened and then he barked a harsh laugh. “You have got to be kidding me. You think I would tell anyone anything that happened ever?” He looked down at his feet. “Not my finest hour, you know.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Harry mumbled. “Neither of us exactly came out ahead there.”

“No. But you definitely got the worst of it.” Malfoy cleared his throat, “I’m - I’m so sorry.”

“I am too.”

Whatever else Harry would have said was cut off as small groups of students began leaving the Great Hall. Malfoy’s mask slid back in place and he nodded a goodbye to Harry.

Harry avoided the crowd and went back to bed.

\--------

It rained heavily over the weekend. Ginny convinced Harry to fly in the rain with her but even with impervious charms, it was miserable. In dry clothes, they cuddled together in Harry’s bed under a thick blanket and a warming charm waiting for the shivers to subside.

Ginny’s hands traced circles on his skin but Harry didn’t find it soothing. He inhaled deeply at her neck, hoping her warm, familiar scent would calm the panic rising in him. But her soft curves were not as enticing as they usually were. 

Instead, memory of a different body flooded him. Hard angles and a strong grip. Sweat dripping from white blond hair. The sharp bite on his lips. And the steady thrust driving a hard cock - 

With a growl he squeezed Ginny’s hip, causing her to gasp.

“Harry? Is everything all right?”

“Yes.” He groaned, “No. I don’t know.” He rolled away and stared up at the ceiling. She laced their fingers together. “I can’t stop thinking about…”

“About last week? With Malfoy? You said you were healed up.”

“Yeah but… I - I didn't…” Harry curled up on his side, back to Ginny. He could feel the words bubbling up in the back of his throat, threatening to spill out. 

“Harry,” Ginny said softly, spooning up behind him. “Was there more? Something you didn’t want to tell Ron and Hermione?”

Harry gritted his teeth to keep his confession in. He covered his face with his hands and nodded. He knew the initial incident wasn’t the problem. She would easily forgive him that, seeing as they were poisoned. But it would be less easy to forgive the continued fantasies of a hard male body driving into him. 

“It’s okay, Harry. You can tell me. Maybe I can help you?”

Harry took several shuddering breaths before letting out a long sigh. “I can’t,” he whispered. There was no way to kindly say he dreamed of someone else. 

“Okay. Do you want me to go?”

“No! Please,” he continued softly, lacing their fingers together against his chest, “please stay with me.” Surely if he ignored it long enough, the dreams would go away and he could go back to how it used to be with Ginny.

“Of course I will. I’m here for you. Always.”

\--------

Unfortunately the next few weeks continued along the same vein. Harry found himself pushing Ginny away every time she made an intimate overture. She would ask about what happened and he would close himself off further. He was ashamed to say it was getting harder and harder to get an erection at all unless he thought of that one night. 

Was it Malfoy that consumed him? Any man at all? The curiosity was driving him mad. Even after the debacle in Italy, he hadn’t considered he might desire men. It was different and strange, and he wanted to know more. Was the sex as good when he wasn’t drugged up? Was it better? Where could he go to find out? 

And the one that made him hate himself the most, how did one break up with a person so that one could return when the experimenting was over?

His relationship with Ginny continued to grow strained, enough that Ron and Hermione tried to question him about it. At dinner one Friday evening, Ginny stormed off when Harry pulled his hand from hers yet again.

“Mate, if you don’t want to date her anymore, just say so. I think she’d prefer that to these little squabbles.”

“I do want her! I love her!” Harry said, scowling. “I’m just - having a rough time of it.”

Hermione spoke up, “She keeps complaining about the fight you had with Malfoy. Maybe you should talk with her about it again.”

“I don’t want to talk about Malfoy,” Harry gritted out.

Ron agreed with Hermione. “But if it’s causing you problems, maybe she needs to know more about it.”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“Clearly there is!” Hermione exclaimed. “You haven’t been the same since that fight and it’s driving a wedge between you two.”

“She’s just worried about you,” Ron added. “She thinks Malfoy might have said something to really upset you.”

Harry slammed his hands on the table and shouted, “I do not want to talk about Draco sodding Malfoy!” Awkward silence broke out at his pronouncement, then buzzing whispers, with significant looks at both him and Malfoy.

Harry blushed at the blond eyebrow rising in his direction. He shook his head and left the Great Hall in a hurry. He wasn’t surprised to see Malfoy followed him. He led them around the corner and down a small side corridor.

“What do you want, Malfoy?” Harry seethed.

“Nothing, really. It just seems we, perhaps, need to talk.”

Harry scrubbed at his hair. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m having some trouble with Ginny and everyone keeps telling me it’s - ” Anger made his voice rise and his face flush. “It’s not because of you! I haven’t thought of you at all since - since that night. Not once! You’re nothing! You hear me? Nothing!”

Frustrated and angry, Harry shoved Malfoy against the wall and gave him a bruising kiss. Malfoy groaned, pain or pleasure Harry didn’t care, but it made Harry soften the kiss. His hand came up to tug at the soft blond hair tickling his cheek.

Abruptly Harry pulled away, wiping at his mouth. “You stay the fuck away from me!” He stalked off, leaving an aroused and bewildered Malfoy behind.

\--------

Dangerous words threatened to spill every time Harry saw Malfoy’s stupid smirk, or Ginny’s brow crinkled in concern. He was only making it worse for himself by hiding his growing attraction to Malfoy, but he didn't know how to break Ginny’s heart. No one knew about Miele in Italy and no one knew about Malfoy in Potions. How would he even start to explain? 

Two days before the Christmas holidays Harry sat on his bed and hesitantly suggested to Ginny that they spend this time apart.

“You don’t want to come home with us?” Ginny asked while Ron paused in his packing.

“It’s just - things have been stressful between us and maybe we just need a little breathing room.”

“Are you breaking up with me? Now? With an audience?” Ginny crossed her arms.

“No! I don’t want to break up with you. I just,” Harry sighed, “it’s going to be hard enough for your family as it is, I don’t want to add to it by…”

“By fighting with me in front of my parents?” She glared at his sheepish shrug. “What are you even going to do here alone?”

Harry only shrugged again and dropped his gaze to the floor. He’d heard Malfoy would be staying behind and he figured he had a favor to call in. He could get this curious obsession out of the way and be back to normal with Ginny by the start of term. She would never have to know.

“Fine! You know what? You just enjoy your lonely fucking holiday because we don’t need you there anyway!” Ginny stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

Ron stood with hands on hips, staring gobsmacked at Harry. “What the fuck was that? Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t know how or what to say.” He flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling.

Ron shook his head and went back to packing. “Well, mate, you fucked that up royally. She’s not likely to be in a better mood when we get back.”

“No, I don’t suppose she is.” Harry scrubbed at his face. “I’ll go find her.”

It took nearly an hour to find her under the Gryffindor quidditch stands, wrapped in a warm cloak and the hat Harry knit for her. By then he’d worked out the truths he needed to share. He sat next to her, plucking at his sleeve before whispering, “I’m sorry.”

Ginny cleared her throat. “For what?”

Harry stayed quiet, because there were too many things to be sorry for. He pulled a square of blue paper from his pocket and began folding an origami crane. “When I was in Italy, I met someone. Actually I met a lot of someones but one in particular - a woman. Her name was Miele.”

Ginny stilled next to him. “Oh. Er, pretty name.”

“It means honey. Probably wasn’t her real name.” His breath hitched while he turned his paper. Precision was so important with each fold. “I was drunk. Really drunk, and we - “ Harry’s hands shook as he made another turn and another fold.

“Oh.”

The paper didn’t look like anything yet. Just squares, and lines. “It was really horrible.” Now a diamond. A tail now. “And I thought it was because of the alcohol. Because she was a stranger. Because I betrayed you.” Perfect symmetry on both sides.

“We weren’t together then, not really.” The tears falling down her cheeks said otherwise.

One more fold and just like that, a little bird. From nothing. Harry handed it to Ginny. “For you.” She charmed it to fly in a tiny circle around them. “That day in Potions… the poison. It was… we were both kind of…” Harry pulled another piece of paper from his pocket. “And we - we had sex.” He heard Ginny’s breath leave on a woosh. Harry tried a diagonal fold but his hands were shaking too much. “And I couldn’t tell you because I was ashamed.” Precision was so important.

“Oh Harry,” Ginny sighed as she pulled him in for a hug, crushing the paper between them. “You stupid boy! Is that why you’ve been pushing me away? Harry, that thing with Malfoy wasn’t your fault! Love, you aren’t to blame for that - you were drugged up on some mysterious potion. That wasn’t you!”

Harry extracted himself from her arms, trying to smooth the now crumpled paper. A wasted effort. It was useless now, wrinkled as it was. It needed to be crisp, smooth. Precise. Harry wiped at his eyes, and began tearing his worthless paper into tiny bits. “Ginny. I’m not ashamed for having sex with him. I’m ashamed because I liked it.”

“You - what?”

“It was confusing, and weird, and - all I remember is how good it all felt. And it’s been… confusing.”

“Oh. Well. That’s…” Ginny curled into herself and stared at the grass.

“I keep thinking that maybe Italy was such a disaster because she didn't - didn't have the right parts. That’s why I can’t go home with you. I think - I think we need some time apart while I figure this out.”

Ginny laughed harshly. “Fucking hell, Harry! This is just like fifth year all over again!” Ginny stood up, hands on hips, to glare at Harry. He scrambled to his feet, scattering bits of paper everywhere. “What do you think I am? Some toy you can set aside when you’re done playing and then pick me back up again when you’re ready?”

“No! Of course not - “

“I’ll forgive you that woman, before we were really a thing. And Malfoy for being drugged up. But you can’t really expect me to let you run off and fuck a few blokes to get it out of your system and then take you back like nothing happened, do you?”

“That’s not what I want at all! Just - just a little break, so I can think about it - _just think_ \- for the holiday.” Harry bit his lip and looked down at the tiny bits of paper flying away on the wind. 

“And you don’t think you should talk _with me_ about it? I’m to just wait around while you decide if you want to keep me or kick me to the curb?” She shook her head with a bitter laugh. “Your selfishness is unbelievable!”

“Hey! I deserve a little selfishness! I died, you know!”

“No, Harry. A person _deserves_ peace, joy, happiness, love.” She swiped angrily at her tears. “Selfishness just says you don’t care about anyone else anymore.”

“I care about you!” Harry’s eyes burned. Why was everything falling apart? Why was sex so fucking complicated? He was glad in that moment they hadn't done more than kiss. He picked up the little blue crane and whispered, “And I want our first time to be good and right, not the mess I had. And I’m scared it’ll be a mess if I’m all - ” he gestured wildly. “I want the best for you.”

“And you think it’s best I wait on the sidelines while you fuck some bloke?” She shook her head and wiped away more tears.

“No! That’s not what I want! I just need some time to think. To - to get it all right in my head,” he whispered. Harry pulled the tail of the crane to make the wings flap without magic. 

“Without my help at all? That’s not going to work.” Ginny hugged her arms to herself, whispering, “We’re over, Harry.”

“But I love you. I need you. I just need to let this - this _thing_ fade.”

“And the next time?” Ginny wiped at her eyes. “The next obsession you can’t let me in on? How many times can I let you use me and toss me aside?” She shook her head. “It’s over.”

“Ginny, please - “

“Harry don’t. We knew we would be taking it slow. That we might separate again if my quidditch career pans out. Really, we’re still just kids. We don’t have to settle into forever just yet. It’s maybe just earlier than we thought.”

Harry tugged hard on the tail of the crane. The paper tore, just like his heart.

“One day you’ll find someone you won’t ever want to leave behind. Witch or wizard, it doesn’t matter. But I’m…” Her breath caught again. “I’m clearly not that person and we have to stop pretending I am.”

She kissed Harry’s cheek and walked away from her broken bird.

\--------

A handful of students gathered in the Entrance Hall to say goodbye to their friends for the holiday. Ginny avoided Harry entirely. Ron gave him a curt nod, and Hermione gave him a very brief hug. Inwardly he cursed at himself for letting whatever this thing was eat away at all his relationships. But it would be fine. He would fix it all when they returned. Even if he wasn’t meant to be with Ginny, he could still fix their friendship.

It took Harry nearly a week to approach Malfoy. Harsh memories mocked him, making him skittish. And even though Ginny had rightly left him, he still felt like a cheater for considering sex with Malfoy. But how else was he going to know for sure?

It was only his fear that the holiday would end entirely without him getting what he wanted, no _needed_ , that spurred him on. He waited by the entrance to the Great Hall, yo-yoing to pass the time, waiting for Malfoy to come down to dinner. Rock the baby. Hop the fence. Around the world. Damn it, the yo-yo smacked the wall again. He was winding it back up when a blond head came into view.

“Malfoy!” he called.

“Potter,” Malfoy muttered suspiciously.

Harry looked around quickly and, seeing no one about, said, “I have a favor to ask.”

“Oh?” The look of surprise was priceless. Malfoy also looked around to see if he was being set up for some type of prank.

“I’ve been wondering… about before.” Harry cleared his throat awkwardly and tucked his yo-yo away while Malfoy stiffened. He should have planned better what he would say. How did one proposition an enemy? 

“Yes,” Malfoy said slowly.

“Yeah, okay. See, I was… curious.” Harry coughed again as his face reddened. “I wanted - maybe - to try again. Like the other night. Only with no… er, no weird potions involved.”

“I beg your pardon?”

Harry’s face flushed a brighter red, his eyes trained on the floor. “I want you to fuck me. Again. Is that clear enough?”

Malfoy crossed his arms. “Really? Why now? Why me?”

“I’ve been thinking about it and - I just want to know what it’s like. Without all the fog and all. And I figure you owe me after… “ Harry trailed off. “Someone else might blab about it but you have an interest in keeping it quiet.” He tugged at his clothes nervously. “And I think you’ll be more careful than someone that’s just excited to be with the ‘Chosen One’ or whatever.”

“You want me to fuck you.”

“Yes. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Just one time. So I can know what it’s like.”

“You are out of your fucking mind.” Malfoy started to walk away but Harry grabbed his arm.

“You owe me. You said yourself I got the worst of it before. You should be the one to make it right.”

Malfoy yanked his arm out of Harry’s grip and scowled. “Yeah and what if I'm not even gay?”

“You were gay enough to know spells and shit then!”

Malfoy rolled his eyes. “Fine. But what if I don't want you? The potion got me up all right but you aren't exactly my type.”

Harry stiffened with rejection. He had honestly not considered he might be unattractive. He shoved his hands in his pockets and mumbled, “Right then. Sorry to have bothered you.” Red faced with humiliation and rejection, he turned on his heel and left for his dorm. 

\--------

Christmas morning could not have gone worse. The fire went out in the dorm so Harry woke to a freezing room with the sun barely risen. He lit a new fire and cast a warming charm to ward off the worst of the cold. 

He looked at the small pile of presents at the end of his bed and wondered if a person could die of embarrassment. He’d rejected his Weasley family and made a complete prat of himself in front of Malfoy. Would he ever be able to leave this room? Dejected, he reached for the largest present, knowing it was his new Weasley jumper. It was greatly appreciated given the chill that remained, as was the box of pumpkin pasties that meant he didn’t have to leave the room for food. Hermione and Ron sent him a wood carving set for beginners. Ginny sent him a harmonica and a card wishing him the best in his newest quest. 

Harry’s heart twisted. He was awful for breaking her heart, especially since it was all for nothing. Malfoy didn't even want him. Harry munched on a pasty and moped. 

By the time the Christmas feast started, Harry had learned he had as little skill with a harmonica as he did with any kind of music, and he had cut himself twice with the sharp tools in the whittling kit. He was still depressed about all of everything and considered skipping the feast. But he had already eaten all the pasties and was tired of his own whiny company. 

Only eighteen students remained for the holidays. The Headmistress and two professors sat at one end of the table, while the students spread themselves out down the rest of it. Harry made his way to the very end, avoiding eye contact with Malfoy, who seemed to be enjoying a conversation with Professor Stanton.

Harry tried to get into a festive mood but the happy buzz of conversation and laughter only reminded him how much he missed his adopted family. A family that probably hated him for breaking their daughter's heart. And seeing Malfoy made him feel dumpy and ridiculous in his overly large hand knit sweater. 

Harry downed the last of his cider and abruptly stood, startling those sitting next to him. With a mumbled, “Happy Christmas,” he made his way out of the Great Hall. 

“Potter! Wait!” Malfoy called as Harry started up the stairs. 

Harry froze in place. “What do you want?”

“I'm sorry. About before. Er, yesterday, I mean. When you asked me…”

“Forget it, it was nothing.” Harry resumed his climb. 

“No, wait.” Malfoy followed him up the steps. “I was just taken by surprise. I didn't know if you meant it.”

Harry stopped at the landing and turned to ask, “And now?”

Malfoy shrugged, “I owe you.”

Harry moved on to the next set of stairs. “No you don't. I didn't mean it anyway.”

“Yes you did. And if you're - struggling or whatever, I can help.”

“Even though I'm not your type?” Harry said bitterly. 

“Fuck, Potter, you're the quintessential hero. You're everyone's type.”

Harry paused again. His heart pounded in his chest, and not just from the stairs. “You - you mean it?”

Malfoy gave a half shrug and looked at Harry expectantly. 

“Now?”

“A little later? Say nine?”

“Yeah, okay,” Harry tugged at his jumper. “My dorm’s empty. The password is egg nog.”

Malfoy nodded and skipped down the steps. 

\--------

Harry’s palms were sweating and his heart was racing as he closed the door to his dorm behind Malfoy. Just to be safe, he locked and warded the door against intruders. Malfoy looked around, his body tense and his face blank. Harry couldn’t deny his excitement now that the moment had come, even if it would be terribly awkward. He and Malfoy weren’t friends and this could certainly go very badly. Coercion didn’t exactly make for happy bed partners.

Harry shook off his self-loathing along with his clothes. Wearing just his pants he slid between the sheets in his bed. Malfoy made short work of most of his own clothing and joined Harry. They sat side by side, awkwardly staring at the end of the bed.

“Are you sure you want this?”

“Yeah, I do.” Harry didn’t need to explain himself to Malfoy. But he wasn’t going to pass up the chance to experience sex without alcohol or potions. He needed something to compare the other experiences to. He was going to get sex right before approaching Ginny again. If she’d ever have him back.

Harry leaned in for a kiss. Malfoy pulled back slightly before letting Harry press their lips together. The kiss was on its way to hellishly awkward, but Malfoy relaxed into the press of Harry’s tongue. It wasn’t much different from kissing a girl, Harry thought. His hand came up to run through Malfoy’s short hair and along his smooth, freshly shaven cheeks.

Malfoy pressed Harry back until he was lying flat on the bed. His body pressed against Harry’s and here there were many differences. Malfoy was much heavier than Ginny or Miele. And he had no soft squishy parts. Harry could feel Malfoy’s erection pressing into his hip, making his own erection harder. Malfoy shifted so he was lying more on top of Harry and their cocks brushed against one another through their pants. 

Malfoy kissed his neck and collarbone like Ginny did, but Malfoy sucked hard enough to bruise Harry’s skin. His hands on Harry’s arse had a harder grip too. Ginny was no delicate flower but Malfoy made her seem so. As Malfoy’s hands roamed Harry’s body, he found himself more aroused by their strength.

Harry ran his hands along Malfoy’s body too. The flat chest was strange under his fingers. Harry plucked at Malfoy’s nipples but he shuddered and pushed Harry’s hands away. No nipple play, then. 

Harry’s hands continued down, barely pausing when he reached the waistband of Malfoy’s pants. Inside, he did hesitate at the soft curls surrounding Malfoy’s cock. Nerves made him halt, but a rough shove of Malfoy’s hand on his made him grasp the hard cock. Definitely different. It was a strange experience to hold a cock that was so like his own, but not his. He made a few tentative strokes, encouraged by Malfoy’s breathy exhale.

Harry had seen the other boys naked before, a given when so many share such a small space, but he’d never seen their cocks so very, very hard. Malfoy was thick and hot, and he groaned when Harry gave his prick a firm squeeze. 

The last of their clothes tumbled to the floor and they curled around each other, completely naked. Malfoy kissed along his neck and jaw, then whispered in his ear, “We’ll need lube.”

“Yeah, it’s here.” Harry fumbled inside his bedside table for the little jar of lube he used for wanking. He gave it to Malfoy with a half smile.

Malfoy unscrewed the lid and gave it a small sniff, eyebrows raising at the light lavender scent. “Nice. You want to be on your back or your knees?” When Harry laid back down on his back, Malfoy nodded and pushed Harry’s thighs apart. “This will feel weird. Tell me if you want me to stop.”

Harry nodded, then closed his eyes. He heard Malfoy whisper the incantation that, this time, made his insides cold. Sober now, he could recognize it as a charm to clean him out. Thinking about what would soon be going where had him blushing again, especially when he felt the cold lubed finger pressing at his rim. He tried to relax but the whole sensation was almost uncomfortable. As Malfoy slid one finger in with great patience, Harry tried to keep still. When Malfoy’s finger slid across his prostate, Harry groaned out his pleasure. His prick dripped on his stomach, bobbing gently.

Malfoy kissed along his thighs as one finger quickly became two. Harry squirmed when two fingers became three. “I think - I think I’m ready now.”

“Thank fuck.” Malfoy lubed up his cock and shuffled forward to press against Harry. “Ready?” At Harry’s nod, Malfoy breached the outer muscle. It wasn’t as easy as his fingers had been but Harry forced himself to relax into it. His erection flagged but Malfoy moved slowly and gave Harry plenty of time to adjust. By the time he started moving in and out, covering Harry’s body with his own, Harry was hard again. Malfoy gripped his arse cheeks, tipping Harry’s hips up. The angle had him hitting Harry’s prostate over and over again.

Absently Harry stroked at his cock, letting the heat wash over him. Intense pleasure rolled out from his belly. For some reason, he was surprised at how different it was to be fucked instead of doing the fucking. He didn’t know how to hold back the sensations that were all new and different. 

“I am - so close. Fuck!” He groaned when Malfoy picked up the pace and slammed into him even harder. “Yes, fuck, don’t stop!” With a few more strokes, Harry was coming hard all over his chest. He felt the muscles of his arse clamping around Malfoy’s cock, which must have triggered Malfoy’s orgasm as well. He stilled above Harry then rocked a few more times with barely a whimper, before collapsing on him.

Harry’s heart raced from his orgasm but his body was relaxing into the hazy sleepiness that usually followed. That was the best fifteen minutes of his life. Even with someone he didn’t care anything about, it had been amazing. Guilt tickled at the edges of his mind that he’d never want Ginny now but he pushed it away. He felt too languid to bother with something difficult.

Malfoy rolled off to lie on the other side of the bed. He didn’t seem to be a cuddler, which was probably for the best since they hated each other. But Harry did wonder if he’d enjoyed himself as well. He would not admit to needing reassurance right now.

“Curiosity satisfied?” Malfoy asked into the silence.

“Mostly, yeah,” Harry said. His thoughts darted around like an angry pixie. What would it be like with a real boyfriend? Sex with a man he loved would probably make him pass out. 

“Good. Give me ten minutes we can go again.” 

Fear clenched Harry's heart. “What? No. We’re not doing this again.” It would be too easy to lose himself and he couldn’t afford that with Malfoy.

“Right, of course.” Malfoy rolled out of bed and summoned his clothes. “How silly of me.”

Harry silently watched Malfoy dress. His fingers were quick and sure as he did up his buttons. Harry shook off the mental unease at Malfoy covering himself up, burying the temptation to let him stay. It would be too dangerous. 

Malfoy gave him a curt, “Happy Christmas,” flipped him two fingers, then stalked out of the dorm, leaving the door open wide behind him. Harry rolled his eyes and trudged naked across the room to shut the door.

Tucking himself back in, he let his thoughts drift. He compared this evening to the trauma in Potions. Definitely better. And compared to Miele, it was incredible. He sank into sleep, thoughts of a boyfriend heavy on his mind. Christmas hadn’t turned out so bad afterall.

\--------

By the time Harry made it to the Great Hall for breakfast, he had convinced himself he’d been a fool yesterday and Malfoy would actually be a perfect candidate for his first boyfriend. He was convenient, discreet, and easily tossed aside. Harry could gain a little experience and move on to someone he could really love later. Surely he could remain detached from a git like Malfoy.

Harry kept his eye out for Malfoy during breakfast but he never showed up. Harry spent the morning trying to whittle a small dog out of softened wood. Damn it, another bad slip of the knife. Surely someone wanted a three legged dog carving? Disheartened, he tossed the wood in the fire and headed down for lunch.

Malfoy missed that too, and Harry wondered if he would ever show up again. How many meals could one person miss? Maybe he was in the kitchens. The elves said they hadn’t seen Malfoy so Harry gathered a small plate of pastries and two mugs of hot chocolate. He levitated them to the Slytherin Common Room and knocked loudly on the door.

“Malfoy!” He knocked again. “Malfoy, are you in there? Open up! Malfoy!” Harry pulled his wand just as the door opened.

Malfoy’s eyes widened in alarm as he pulled his wand from his sleeve, knocking Harry back with a repulso. Harry bumped into the cocoa and pastries, drenching his shirt in the hot liquid and sending the pastries to the floor.

“Fucking fuck Malfoy!” Harry yelled as he yanked his shirt off. He hunched his shoulders to see if the hot chocolate had burned. But of course he couldn’t see so he turned his back to Malfoy. “Damn that burns! Wash it off!”

Malfoy shot a cool jet of water at Harry that soothed his skin. “It doesn't look like it burned. I’m sorry. I thought you were going to attack me.”

“Why would you think that?” Harry vanished the mess on the floor. “I was just bringing a snack to apologize for being a jerk yesterday.” He lay his shirt out and siphoned off most of the hot chocolate. A light drying charm and his shirt was at least wearable, if stained.

“Yes well, you were yelling my name and had your wand out.” Malfoy tucked his wand back in his sleeve and shrugged. “We don’t have the best history so excuse me for jumping to conclusions.”

Harry shrugged sheepishly, “Sorry but I didn’t know if you could hear me so I was going to send a patronus message.”

“Well I’m here now. Is that all you wanted? To apologize? Accepted. Can I get on with my life now?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m sorry I panicked and… I know it sounds like I was kicking you out but - I’ve had time to think about it and…” Harry shoved his hands in his pockets to stop himself fidgeting. “Do you want to go back to the kitchens with me? For another snack. We could - talk, maybe?”

Malfoy pursed his lips and considered Harry. His eyes traveled up and down his disheveled form, but Harry held still for it. “You want to be friends now?”

“Or something?” Harry shrugged again, “We can see where things go, yeah?”

“If all you’re looking for is sex, just say so. I’m sure we can work out something mutually beneficial without all the artifice of friendship.”

Harry blushed lightly, “I’m not looking for sex. Or just sex. I’m - this is new for me.” He flushed a deeper red. “A - a relationship. With a bloke.”

“A relationship. That’s what you want and you came to me?”

“Yeah.” Harry kicked at the ground wishing he’d thought this through a little more. He mumbled out, “It seemed reasonable at two o’clock in the morning.”

Malfoy snorted at that and crossed his arms, considering Harry again. With a short nod he said, “Let’s go get something to eat and we’ll talk.”

\--------

Smiling, Harry sat with Malfoy while the elves bustled about to bring them another plate of pastries and cocoa. Silence reigned between them but Harry was afraid to break it.

Finally he couldn’t stand it any further and said, “I’m learning to whittle wood.”

Malfoy’s brow wrinkled. “Is that a euphemism? Because it’s a terrible one.”

“No,” Harry chuckled, “it’s carving. You carve out shapes and things from wood with a sharp knife.”

“Why not just use a charm?”

Harry shrugged and nibbled at a scone. “I’m trying to find a hobby. Something without magic. I don’t think this’ll be it.” He held up his hand to display the shiny pink skin of newly healed cuts. “I just like trying new things.”

Malfoy tensed further. “And am I a new thing? Is that what this is?” 

“No! No, this - us - it’s not a hobby. I’m trying - since the war, I’ve been trying to, I don’t know. Find myself? It sounds trite when you say it like that but, well, it’s accurate.”

“And sex with a man was on your list?”

Harry choked on his scone. “Oh my god! No! I didn’t even consider it. Even after - “ he cut off, unwilling to share about Italy just yet but Malfoy took it wrong.

“Even after I raped you in Potions? Yeah I can see why.” Malfoy sat back to cross his arms over his chest. His whole body screamed ‘back the fuck off’ and Harry didn’t know how to soften him.

“That wasn’t you.”

“Of course it was. That’s why you came to me yesterday. To make it right.”

Harry scrubbed at his hair. “I’m sorry you felt coerced. We can call it even?”

“I doubt we can ever be even.”

Harry broke a ginger biscuit in half and offered one piece to Malfoy. “Maybe we can start fresh today?”

Malfoy sighed heavily and took the biscuit with a small smile.

\--------

After their snack, Harry invited Malfoy up to a vacant study room on the seventh floor.

“I’m working on a jigsaw puzzle,” Harry explained as he opened the door. The wide room was softly lit with the last of the daylight. A large table occupied most of the space with several bowls of puzzle pieces scattered around.

“I can see that.” Malfoy scanned the table, noting the random piles of pieces and the small groups of assembled edges in a wobbly line. “You haven’t gotten very far.”

“Well, no. It’s ten thousand pieces and I haven’t gotten as much help as I thought I would.”

“Ten thousand pieces?” Malfoy asked as he sat down. He pulled a few bowls close to see what sort of pieces were inside. Blue everywhere. “Why would you start with such a huge puzzle?”

“I didn’t. I did a few smaller ones with friends and they were easily finished. This monster scared everyone away. Now everyone is always busy.”

“Almost as if they’d rather spend their time revising for exams that will determine their ability to find work. Hmm… shocking.” Malfoy grabbed another bowl. More blue. “Why is there so much blue?”

Harry held up the box, showing a large ocean scene. “It’s the ocean.”

“Yes, I gathered that. I mean, why is all the blue in so many different bowls?”

“I don’t know, maybe because so many people were working on it at one point?”

“Well, we’ll have to fix that.”

Harry worked on connecting his small pile of edge pieces while Malfoy set to sorting through pieces. As the puzzle was not terribly interesting at this point, Harry mostly eyed Malfoy out of the corner of his eye. The way his brow drew down in concentration, the half smile when he found more of the edges to add to Harry’s pile. Every now and again he would huff out a breath upwards and his fringe would fly up. Sometimes he peeked at Harry and they would both blush.

Harry cleared his throat. “So, how’s potions class without me?”

“Much easier.”

Harry faked a laugh and pretended to wipe a tear. “Oh, you are a riot! Seriously! How is it?”

“Stanton seems glad you’re gone,” Malfoy said with an absent minded shrug as he sorted. “He’s actually been much easier on the rest of the class.”

Harry’s shoulders dropped and he turned back to his pieces. “Oh.”

Malfoy looked up at his tone. His cheeks pinkened, “Sorry, I guess I could have phrased that better.”

“No, it’s okay. I knew he didn’t like me. I wonder how I would have done in potions if I’d had a teacher that cared.”

“You did all right sixth year, yeah?”

“Yeah but I had a book with all the answers then.” He shook off his melancholy and looked over the edge pieces Malfoy had found. Why didn’t any pieces go together? Were some of them missing already? “Everyone compares it to cooking or baking and I hate cooking and baking.”

“More like baking. Cooking is more art, baking is more science.” Malfoy finished sorting the pieces and began helping Harry assemble all the edges. “I enjoy preparing my own food but rarely get the chance. What don’t you like about it?”

“Bad memories, I guess. My aunt, when I was little, was forever yelling at me about food. She did most of the cooking but she’d pass off the finishing bits to me while she got the next thing ready. So if the bacon burned, it was my fault. Or if a cake fell, I must have jostled it. She was a perfectionist and nothing I did was ever good enough.” Harry fiddled with his pieces, noticing that Malfoy’s pile had already become the entire left edge of the puzzle.

Malfoy made a noncommittal sound. “My mother was very supportive of anything I wanted to learn.”

“How nice for you.” Harry stared at his pieces, trying not to let jealousy overcome him. Stupid Malfoy and his stupid happy family. 

“Yes it was. I have many happy memories of baking biscuits with my mother. She used to make little fire drops that made me spit fire. Fire for her little dragon.” Malfoy looked up with an easy smile that froze at Harry’s grimace.

Harry couldn’t stop the jealous vitriol that poured out. “And did your mother bake you special biscuits when you took the Dark Mark?”

Malfoy sat back in his chair and stared hard at Harry. He crossed his arms over his chest. Jealousy and guilt choked Harry, preventing him from reaching out when Malfoy stood without another word and swept out of the room.

Stupid! So fucking stupid! That was not the way to get close to Malfoy. Harry shot out of his chair and stumbled out into the corridor. He ran to catch up with Malfoy at the end. “Wait! Malfoy!”

Malfoy, of course, ignored him and scurried down the steps.

“Please wait! I’m sorry.” Harry grabbed Malfoy’s robes and pulled him to a stop, breathing heavily from the short run. 

Malfoy knocked Harry’s hand away from his clothes and glared. “ _You_ asked _me_ , remember? You asked me to join you as a friend. Is that how you treat all your friends?” Malfoy turned away and resumed his flight down the stairs. “No wonder you’re alone for Christmas.”

“Hey! You’re alone for Christmas too, you know,” Harry hollered after him, mentally cursing himself. Damn it, Harry, keep it kind!

Malfoy froze. “Yes, because returning to my childhood home gives me nightmares. Thanks for the reminder. Any other wounds you want to rub salt in?”

“I’m sorry!” Harry sighed and joined Malfoy on the landing. He sighed, knowing he had to make himself vulnerable if he was to keep Malfoy’s attention. “Look, I was jealous, all right? I didn’t have that kind of thing growing up and I was jealous.”

“You have all of everyone fawning over you at all times and you’re jealous you didn’t get biscuits as a child? That’s ridiculous.”

“It’s not - “ he cleared away the lump in his throat. “Having a mother’s love. It’s not the same. Nothing compares.”

The tension left Malfoy’s body in a whoosh. He shook his head. “Come on, you prat. My mother sent me fire drops. I’ll share with you, I guess.” He offered his hand to Harry. 

Harry rather liked the sensation of Malfoy’s hand in his. As they walked to the Slytherin common room, Harry willed his hand to stop sweating. How fucking embarrassing! Harry shifted the hold so their fingers were loosely laced together. Maybe now his palms could dry a little. But Malfoy smiled kindly and held his hand tighter. Well then. Maybe Malfoy didn’t mind his nervousness.

A glance around Malfoy’s room showed it to be nearly identical to Harry’s, except for the color scheme. 

Malfoy inclined his head at his bed. “I hope you don’t mind sharing the bed,” he said with a small smile. “We can’t really sit around the common room without drawing too much attention.

“I don’t mind.“ Harry waggled his eyebrows. “I’m absolutely magical in bed.”

Malfoy’s smile widened, “Really now?”

Harry kicked off his shoes and hopped onto Malfoy’s bed. He pulled a deck of cards from his pocket and shuffled them with a wild flourish. “Indeed. Pick a card, any card.”

“Okay,” Malfoy said with a bemused laugh. He sat cross legged across from Harry and picked a random card. 

“Okay now put it back anywhere.” 

Malfoy laughed when Harry shuffled the cards with extreme focus then produced his card with another wild flourish.

“Is _this_ your card?”

“Holy shit, it is! Amazing!” Malfoy yanked the deck of cards from Harry’s hands and threw them to the floor as he pushed Harry back. He looked into Harry’s eyes and said quietly. “That’s some magic trick you have there. I know a few tricks, too.”

“Do - do you?”

“Indeed.” Moving slowly, Malfoy covered Harry’s lips with his own. He brushed slowly from side to side until Harry’s lips parted. His tongue slipped into Harry’s mouth and explored with a slow and easy movements. Harry’s body melted into the bed, accepting the pressure of Malfoy’s above. “Is this why you followed me down here? Do you want more of this?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me. Tell me all the things you want.”

“I want - “ Harry broke off, uncertain. What did he want? “I want to touch you and be touched by you. I want to - I want you to make me come. I want to watch you come.”

“Do you want me to fuck you?” His hips ground down into Harry, who wanted so badly to agree to what Malfoy was offering.

Harry bit his lip nervously. “Not this time. Not yet.”

Malfoy smiled and kissed him again. His hands were a hot brand on Harry’s skin. Every touch, every kiss drove Harry higher. What was it that was so different from Ginny’s touches? He didn’t love Malfoy, not like he loved Ginny. It was something to mull over later. 

Or never. 

Better to drown in the sensations at Malfoy’s hands. And mouth. Oh fuck, that mouth. He sucked down Harry’s cock with patience and skill, bringing Harry to the edge three times before letting him come. Harry almost felt guilty because he was too wrung out to help Malfoy finish but Malfoy didn’t seem to care. He straddled Harry’s hips and brought himself off all over Harry’s chest. A red flush bloomed over his pale chest and neck, his head tossed back as he sighed out his orgasm. How could he stay so quiet? 

Malfoy rested his hands on his thighs as he surveyed Harry. “You look a right mess.”

Harry mumbled a noncommittal sound. How could he care about anything right now? Malfoy cleaned them up with a flick of his wand then lay down next to Harry. He was almost when asleep when Malfoy pulled the covers up over both of them.

\--------

The next few days were more fun than Harry would have guessed. A tentative relationship blossomed between them as they traded conversation and kisses. Harry shared his journey through a multitude of hobbies, and Malfoy drove him crazy with clever fingers and a wicked mouth.

At first Harry enjoyed showing off the assorted bric a brac he’d collected but by week’s end, the joy soured. Malfoy was so naturally fucking good at everything. His nimble fingers worked through Jacob’s ladder without a single knot in his string. He knit an even garter stitch square with no dropped or twisted stitches within a single afternoon. He even sang Christmas carols along with a few strums of the guitar. 

They were in a large classroom on the sixth floor when Harry finally lost it. Only five or six metres from the target and Harry’s arrows still glanced off the edges. But Malfoy was on his fourth bulls-eye.

Harry snapped his arrow in half and threw the pieces in the air. “I thought you said you’d never shot a bow before,” he accused, hands on hips.

Malfoy gave a bemused smile, “I haven’t. When would I ever use a bow? If I were going to hunt or attack, I’d use a spell. So I used a spell.”

“A spell on your arrow?”

“Of course. I know you don’t want to use any magic but that doesn’t mean I can’t, right?”

Harry’s jaw dropped. “All this time?” He crossed his arms. “The jigsaw puzzle?”

“Yes, to orient pieces.”

“The string?”

“For the string games? To keep the string from tangling or falling off my fingers accidentally.”

“What about the guitar? And the singing.”

Malfoy shrugged at that. “I play piano and cello. I’m well versed in music.”

“Oh.” Harry’s arms dropped. And he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t realize.”

Malfoy asked with a sly smile, “Were you jealous, Potter?” He crowded Harry against the wall.

“No, of course not,” Harry replied with a telling blush. He tilted his head against the wall to allow Malfoy greater access to his neck. 

“I think you were,” Malfoy whispered against his skin. “Jealous that I have so many talents.” Harry could feel Malfoy’s smile against his cheek and it warmed him all over. “Not to worry,” Malfoy whispered as his hand came to rest on the growing bulge in Harry’s jeans, “you have other talents.” Malfoy drew Harry into a rough and needy kiss.

But Harry’s stomach dropped at that comment. He shoved Malfoy back with a grimace. “That’s not a talent.”

Malfoy smirked. “Sure it is. People pay good money to experience that kind of talent.”

Harry scowled and flicked his wand to store the bow and arrows in their carrying case. “Fuck you, Malfoy, that’s not the kind of talent I’m going for.” He shouldered the case and unwarded the door to leave.

“Potter, wait. I was just teasing you.” Malfoy pulled at his arm. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah, I know,” Harry said as he yanked his arm free. “Just.” He sighed heavily at the floor, “Not now, okay? I think I need to be alone.”

Harry fled the classroom and made for his dorm. The password to Gryffindor Tower hadn’t been changed yet but hopefully Malfoy wouldn’t bother him. Harry threw the bow case into his stuffed trunk and flopped down on his bed. He wanted to be angry at Malfoy but instead he withered in defeat.

Malfoy had only voiced what Harry was already thinking.

Harry had initially assumed his lack of skill was merely a lack of perseverance. Maybe he hadn’t stuck with anything long enough to get any good at it. But over time he realized he just didn’t care. Even if he could produce the beautiful creations he saw in the guide books, it wouldn’t interest him. It was never what he wanted to spend his time doing.

Now that he wasn’t fighting for his life and defeating Dark Lords, there was nothing of interest that occupied his time. He had no focus. No direction. No desire.

Well, he had desire. Now that he had Malfoy to touch, to kiss, he had something he enjoyed. But he couldn’t very well build a life around fucking, now could he? And really, he was failing at that too. His original intention had been to fool around with Malfoy and then move on to someone else but he couldn’t even bring himself to consider another lover. He was becoming dangerously attached, just as he knew he would. 

Malfoy’s range of expression was endlessly fascinating to Harry. His features were too symmetrical to be real and it was captivating. He loved Malfoy’s smooth drawl as he snarked at Harry about his collection of muggle toys. Even when they were fighting, Harry’s blood rushed with both hot pleasure and gentle affection.

He crawled to the hearth and fed it bits of wood shavings from his attempted whittling. Lumpy shapes that were meant to be a cup, a spoon, and another three-legged creature that should have been a four-legged creature sat next to a perfectly executed niffler, sorting hat, and fork. Harry shook his head at his own ridiculousness. How could he have thought Malfoy did this with no magic?

Harry’s snit petered out as he readied for bed. He looked around his empty dorm and realized he didn’t want to spend it alone. They’d spent the last few nights alternating Malfoy’s bed for his and tonight was Harry’s turn but Malfoy wasn’t likely to come find him now. Harry wasn’t going to ruin it.

He pulled on his slippers and wrapped himself in a warm dressing gown before making the long trek to the Slytherin common room. Harry tiptoed into the quiet room, stripping down and slipping into Malfoy’s bed. Malfoy was already asleep so Harry didn’t wake him. He simply curled around his boyfriend and let sleep claim him.

\--------

Harry woke to fingers tracing his ear. They continued along his jaw, up to his hair, down his nose. He scrunched his nose and darted a kiss at them as they left his face.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Malfoy whispered.

“Mmm… morning.” Harry rubbed his body against Malfoy’s as he stretched himself awake. “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“Do you think we’ll get to the point where we’re not apologizing to each other every other day?”

Harry smiled, “One would hope.”

Malfoy skimmed his fingers up and down Harry’s back. “I bought something for you.”

“You did?” Harry pulled back to look into silvery grey eyes. “Why?”

“I know you’re struggling with things and I shouldn’t have made light of it. This is a silly thing to serve as an apology.” He pushed the covers back and summoned pyjama bottoms and a dressing gown. He handed Harry his own clothes. While Harry dressed, Malfoy pulled a bag out of his trunk.

Cross-legged on the bed, Harry smiled as he pulled six small bright colored jars from the bag. “What are they?”

“It’s paint. Finger-paint. I went to Hogsmeade last night while you were stewing.” Malfoy took one jar and opened it to show off the shimmery paint. “It’s not a muggle thing. The paint transitions through different hues as you paint.”

“How fun!”

“Yeah, I thought you’d like it. Not as a potential hobby, but a silly project we could work on together. No magic from either of us. Just a messy activity and a pretty picture. No talent necessary.”

“Thanks, Malfoy.” Harry paused. “Draco. Thanks Draco.”

Draco smiled, “You’re welcome. Harry.”

Harry launched himself at Draco for a deep kiss, jars of paint tumbling out of his lap. Draco smiled through it, then slapped Harry’s arse. “C’mon, let’s go enlarge some paper.”

They made the trek back to Harry’s dorm. They moved the beds to one side of the room and enlarged a piece of origami paper to cover most of the floor. “Where should we start?” Draco asked.

“This’ll probably be messy. Should we strip?”

Draco snorted. “I was going to suggest an impervious charm on our clothes but I think I like your idea better.” A wave of his wand had the fire burning hotter, and moment later he had stripped down to his pants. Harry quickly followed.

“Here, you start with green.” Harry handed Draco a jar of paint. “I’ll start with red.”

“House pride. Predictable!” Draco laughed and tossed the lid aside. He dipped his fingers in the paint then knelt to smear a large arc on the paper. The origami paper was slick so the paint smeared beautifully. 

Harry admired the play of greens before doing the same with his jar of red paint. The two arcs crossed, and the colors swirled together into a brown that managed to retain hints of red and green. Harry summoned the blue and added a smear above the red. With the yellow, Draco added large handprints. Harry followed with footprints in purple. 

While Draco was mixing the green and blue for a vivid turquoise, Harry dipped his fingers in the orange and painted a large stripe up Draco’s back.

“Ah! Fuck! That is cold, you prick!” Draco yelled. He whipped around and knocked a laughing Harry onto their masterpiece. Before Harry could rise, Draco straddled his hips and dumped half the jar of blue on Harry’s chest.

“No no no! Fuck! Ah! It’s cold!” Harry reached for the yellow and threw a splatter of paint across Draco’s chest. Draco startled, trying to avoid it, allowing Harry to wriggle out. He almost grasped the red but it tumbled out of his slippery fingers, spilling red over the paper. Draco shoved him down into it with a laugh.

They rolled across the paper, smearing a rainbow of paint everywhere. Harry wanted to admire the vermillion handprint on Draco’s arse but Draco turned to smear chartreuse into Harry’s black locks. He dragged Harry close for a messy kiss as they knelt in the center. Harry could feel the wet handprints on his face, dragging down his body.

Draco’s hand made its way into Harry’s pants. “Mmm… you feel so good.” His slick hand stroked Harry slowly. “I’d suck you but you’re filthy. You’re going to have to settle for my hand.”

“Yes… Faster.” 

Draco moaned into Harry’s ear and continued stroking at an even pace. “Want to come all over our artwork? Want to add your spunk to our masterpiece? Once it dries, no one would know.” 

He shifted to Harry’s side while Harry pulled his pants to his thighs. “You could hang it on the wall and no one would have any idea. They’d all just smile and admire the play of color and all you’ll be able to think of is how I made you come all over it.”

Draco’s hand sped up, adding a squeeze every now and again to keep Harry off balance. “Yes, that’s it. Look how colorful you are.” Draco scraped his hand through the paint and spread it down Harry’s cock. Harry would have giggled at his rainbow prick if the pressure building in his balls hadn’t chosen that moment to explode out. White streaks layered over the mess of paint.

Harry, panting hard, sat back on his heels. That was exhilarating but now he wanted to curl up and go to sleep. Idly he swirled paint through his release. The color dulled where it was mixed with his come. He signed his name through it with a giant flourish.

Draco leaned down for a kiss then whispered across Harry’s lips, “My sexy, messy boy.” He stood and helped Harry up. They admired the mess for a moment until Draco slapped Harry’s arse and said, “Suck me off in the shower.”

And how could Harry argue with that?

\--------

Harry cast a charm to dry the last bits of paint on their masterpiece. Draco helped him hang it on the wall above his bed. They cuddled up together at the foot of the bed to admire their work. 

“Is this real?” Harry asked into the silence. He turned to look at Draco, sharing his pillow.

“Is what real?”

“This. Us.” Harry reached out and tucked a bit of Draco’s hair behind his ear. Draco took hold of his hand and kissed the back of it.

“It feels real.”

Harry wriggled down to rest his head on Draco’s chest. “We probably have shit to work through.”

Draco’s, “hmm,” rumbled under Harry’s ear.

“Everyone’s coming back soon.”

“Yes,” Draco agreed as he ran his fingers through Harry’s hair.

“Will they hate us?”

“Probably.”

“Especially Ginny. I don’t know what to tell her.”

“You have love bites all over and you can’t get that goofy smile off your face. You probably won’t have to say much.”

Harry gave Draco’s side a pinch as he sat up to straddle his lap. He grazed Draco’s lips with his own then whispered. “I want more.”

“Yes.” Draco sat up to kiss Harry hard and deep. He lifted off Harry’s shirt and caressed down his back. “Yes.” He kissed down Harry’s jaw and neck, making Harry shiver with anticipation.

Harry crawled backwards and kicked his pyjama bottoms off. Draco covered him, resting in the cradle of his thighs. Harry brought his knee up to rest against Draco’s hip. “I want to sink into you. I want you so close, so deep in me, that I don’t know where you end and I begin.”

“Fuck, Harry,” Draco moaned.

The past week had been one lesson after another in how to bring each other pleasure, purely in a superficial sense. But tonight felt different. Something had shifted between them and it showed in every kiss, every caress. Each _more please yes_ was laced with love, fragile and new as it was. Harry, heart open and vulnerable all over again, was afraid to say _love mine forever_. But each thrust of Draco’s hips against him was another _love yours always_.

When his orgasm swept through him with near blinding force, Harry knew they were worth fighting for. Whatever came ahead would be fine because he would face it with Draco. Together.

“The start of a new year. It feels good so far.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telling their friends doesn't go all that smoothly. And Harry finds purpose in life.

Harry nudged Draco when he saw the Headmistress preparing to leave the Great Hall. Together they followed her out, asking for a moment of her time.

“Shall we make our way to my office?” she asked. Her stern look at the two of them made Harry nervous. But she didn’t seem surprised by their closeness.

“Er, no, really we just had a quick question.” Harry looked at Draco, who nodded encouragingly. “You may have noticed this past week or so, Draco and I have, er…”

“There are only twenty-one people in residence at the moment Mr Potter, I assure you we’ve all taken notice of your - friendship,” McGonagall interrupted with a flash of a smile.

Harry, relieved he didn’t have to explain, nevertheless blushed at what she might have guessed. “Right, yes.” He cleared his throat. “Well, we’d like the chance to tell our friends before the other students here can spread the gossip around.”

“I see. And what are you proposing?”

“Can we go down to Hogsmeade station with the carriages this afternoon to meet the train? So we can explain to them on the ride back?”

McGonagall pursed her lips. “That is most irregular. But I don’t see the harm in it. I’ll let Hagrid know.”

“Thank you, Headmistress!”

“Good luck to you both.” She nodded curtly before taking her leave.

\--------

Harry paced the platform and checked his watch one more time. “Just a few minutes now.”

“Assuming it’s on time.”

He leaned into Draco for one last hug before the masses descended. “I’m going to miss you tonight.”

Draco brushed his lips along Harry’s cheek. “We’ll find time together.”

“It’s not the same as sharing a bed.” Harry turned his head so he could kiss Draco fully. He sighed. “When do we get to do that again?”

“Easter holiday?”

“Fuck.” Harry pulled Draco into another kiss. He nibbled along Draco’s lower lip while Draco squeezed his arse.

They sprang apart when the train whistle sounded as it neared the station. 

“Here goes. Good luck.”

“To you too.”

As agreed, they sat on a small bench, for all the world looking like two strangers waiting on a train. They had decided that morning to save affection for the castle, after they’d had the chance to explain. They had discussed what to tell of their story to paint a clear picture without embarrassing either of them. And they had practiced the counters to various objections until they felt confident everyone would be happy by the time they arrived for the welcome home dinner. 

Students poured from the train, heading for the carriages in small groups. As expected, the older students were to the rear of the flood. Standing to meet their friends, Harry brushed his hand along the back of Draco’s for one last confidence boost.

Harry hugged Hermione, Ron, and Ginny in welcome. The time apart must have been good for them because everyone greeted him with genuine affection. Harry called to Neville, heading back to the castle with Hannah and Susan, and asked him to ride with them. His friends looked confused by his request but complied. Neville, as a friend and his other dorm mate, deserved to hear the news from Harry.

As the five of them climbed into the cramped carriage, Harry saw Draco getting into a carriage with Parkinson, Zabini, and Nott. Their eyes met and Draco bit his lip seductively and winked. Sexy little fuck. Harry grinned and rolled his eyes.

“So what’s so important you had to meet us at the station?” Hermione asked as soon as the door closed. She sat against the side of the carriage, half in Ron’s lap. Ginny sat on Ron’s other side.

“Happy Christmas to you too, Hermione. Did you have a nice holiday?” Harry asked.

Ron snorted. “Quit stalling and spill it. Why are you here instead of waiting at the castle?”

“Is it - is it Malfoy?” Ginny asked quietly.

Harry plucked at his sleeve and nodded. The words of his prepared speech were spinning in his head. Ron and Hermione looked confused at each other and Harry.

Before he could begin, Ginny continued with a frown, “Did you fuck him?”

“Ginny!” Hermione nearly shouted. Ron’s eyes went wide and Neville stiffened beside Harry.

Harry, eyes still on Ginny, nodded. Suddenly his tongue unlocked and he recalled his rehearsed speech. “Draco stayed behind for the holiday and we got to talking - “

“Hold up!” Ron interrupted. “You had sex - real sex - with Draco Malfoy? What the actual fuck, Harry?” 

“We - we got to talking and we - “

“I thought you were only going to ‘think about it’ during the holiday? And now you think I want to hear about you and Malfoy - “ Ginny covered her face with her hands and took several deep breaths.

Harry said quietly, “I just wanted you to hear it from me. Would you rather I met you at the castle and you ran into some random gossip first?”

“I don’t know.” She said as she wiped at her face. “It still hurts.” She turned away to look out the window.

“We spent a lot of time talking during the holiday and he’s - “

“Yeah and I’ll bet he’s easy to forgive when he’s on his knees for you,” Ron spat out.

“Ronald Weasley! How can you - “

“Don’t start, Hermione.” Ron shook his head. “You want to be gay? Fine. Fuck all and be gay! But Draco Malfoy? You can do better than that. He’s a horrible person - ”

“No!” Harry felt his stomach clench. He hadn’t gotten through his speech and it was all falling apart. He focused on the practiced responses to possible objections. “We spoke for him. At his trial. He’s - he’s different now.”

“I’m sure he seems like something out of this world with his arse up for you. But he’s not. He’s a slimy git that’s using you.”

“It’s - not like that. You’ll see. You just have to give him a chance.” Harry scrambled to remember what he wanted to tell them. But he hadn’t anticipated such a violent reaction. “I’m not expecting you to be friends or anything - “

A snort from Ron.

“- but if you just give him an honest chance, you’ll see. He’s different now. And we’ve grown really close - ”

“Oh Harry,” Hermione sighed. “Two months ago you were fighting in Potions and now all of a sudden you’re… “ she trailed off, her mouth pursed.

Ron took Hermione’s hand. “You’re asking a lot of us, Harry.”

“Well, Harry deserves a little selfishness,” Ginny said bitterly.

“Hey!” Neville cried. “It’s not selfish to know what you want and work for it. It’s selfish to push everyone away while you do it. Harry’s reaching out to you. To us.” Harry almost cried in relief when Neville pat his hand and gave him a smile. “He didn’t have to tell us, you know. He could have kept it a secret and let rumors fly.”

Hermione opened her mouth to interrupt but Neville continued over her, “And then the next time something important happens to him, will he want to tell you? Or keep that secret too? Then before you know it, you don’t know him anymore. Be glad he loves you enough to tell you the truth first.”

Stunned silence met this speech.

Harry cleared his throat, “I guess I thought you’d be happier for me.”

Ron, eyes on the floor now, grumbled, “We’d be happier if you’d chosen someone else.”

“Is it boys that make you happy, or Malfoy?” Ginny asked.

“At first it was because he’s a man. But now it’s because it’s Draco. And I can’t imagine myself with someone else.” Harry looked at his best friends and wanted to cry. He rubbed at his scar out of habit then dropped his gaze to his lap. “He’s having breakfast with us tomorrow. Please, just give him a chance.” He met Ron’s furious gaze, “Please don’t make me choose between him and you.”

Silence hung thick in the air until they reached the castle.

\--------

Students milled in the courtyard, making their way into the Great Hall for dinner. Neville gave Harry a hug and whispered encouragement before going to find Hannah. Ginny fled the carriage as if it were on fire. Harry followed her with his eyes but she didn’t look back as she dragged her fellow chasers into the castle. His eyes sought the eighth year Slytherins.

Their descent from the carriage was cool and controlled. Parkinson looped her arm through Draco’s offered elbow while Zabini and Nott flanked them both. They presented a united front against all attack. Harry was relieved that at least one of them had gotten support, even if they didn’t look particularly welcoming of Harry.

Well fuck them all. Draco was his now and Harry needed him. Especially right now, when he was still shaking from the confrontation in the carriage. He met Draco at the steps leading into the castle and pulled him away from Parkinson for a hard kiss. Shock kept Draco from participating right away; this wasn’t part of the plan. But quickly enough he melted into Harry, his hands coming around Harry’s back to draw him in close.

There. That should prove they were serious about each other.

“It didn’t go well?” Draco whispered.

“That’s an understatement.”

They pulled apart and looked to their friends. Harry would have laughed at the range of shock and disbelief, but the tension was too high for giggling. He took Draco’s hand and waited a beat before pulling him into the castle. They’d already talked about alternating tables for meals, starting with tonight’s dinner with the Slytherins.

Ron and Hermione paused in the doorway and for a moment Harry was sure they were going to join them at the Slytherin table but Ron’s face tightened and he pulled a drawn-faced Hermione to the Gryffindor table. They would talk more later.

Parkinson, Zabini, and Nott took the seats across from Harry and Draco. Harry squirmed under their gaze until Draco rested his hand on Harry’s thigh. He dropped a kiss on Harry’s temple and began serving up his food.

“Well then,” Parkinson began, “Draco says we’re to play nice. So we’ll save the interrogation for another day.”

Harry froze and Draco’s grip tightened on his thigh. “Er, thank - “

“But just know that I don’t trust you. No one is that nice for no reason and I know you have good reason to hate us. Especially me.”

“I don’t - “ Harry began, looking to Draco for reassurance.

“You hurt Draco and I will return it to you a hundredfold. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Harry said meekly.

“Draco says you spent the holiday talking things out?” Parkinson asked as she daintily dabbed at her mouth. The complete change in her demeanor unbalanced Harry. 

“Yeah, it all started with some hot chocolate…” Harry told the story of their first meeting, even making Parkinson giggle nervously when he described his strip-down in the corridor. 

All told, it was a fairly smooth first meeting. It would take a while before they felt comfortable around each other but at least they hadn’t out and out rejected him. 

Draco gave Harry a soft kiss goodnight, before they headed to their respective dorms. It would likely be a long night for both of them. There were still many questions to answer and fears to calm. 

The Gryffindor common room was abuzz when Harry came in. Ron and Hermione sat in the chairs by the fire, whispering to each other. Harry passed them by without a word and the buzzing grew louder. Harry blocked it from his mind as he readied for bed. They could talk to him when they were ready.

Neville came in as Harry was settling in bed with his knitting. He was nearly finished with a cabled hat for Draco. Harry checked his chart and resumed knitting.

Neville sat at the foot of Harry’s bed with a sympathetic smile. “How are you doing?”

Harry sighed. “It’ll get better. I know it was all a shock. And Draco and I don’t have the best history.”

“You talked it over though?”

“Mostly, yeah. I mean, we were together nearly every hour of the day for almost two weeks. It’s hard not to grow close to a person in all that time.”

“Well, I’ll admit I don’t really get it. But if you say he’s really changed, and he’s making you happy, then I can give it a shot.”

“Thank you, Neville. That really means a lot to me.” Harry began crossing the next stitches but dropped them as the door slammed open to admit Ron. Neville smiled hesitantly but Harry avoided eye contact. His hands trembled as he picked up his stitches and rearranged them on his needle. 

Ron stared for a moment before asking, “Did you at least consider someone else first?”

Harry slumped with a defeated sigh, “Ron - “

“I know. Hermione said to leave it but I have to know.”

Harry set the hat aside and swallowed the lump in his throat. “At first, I just wanted someone to fool around with. I thought I’d get some experience then dump him for someone else I liked better. But the more we talked, the more I - I fell in love - “

“Damn it, Harry. How is that possible?”

“He’s hurt and been hurt, just like I have. I don’t know. It’s just been comforting to talk to him. He sees me and not some war hero or celebrity or whatever else shit I run into all the time. To him, I’m just a specky git that sucks at potions. It’s refreshing.”

Ron sighed with his hands on his hips. “Ginny’s a mess.”

“I know. And for that I’m sorry. I don’t know how I could have handled it better.”

“There probably wasn’t any way,” Neville said. “There is absolutely no good way to say ‘I prefer my school rival’s masculine charms to your feminine ones.’”

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?”

Neville shrugged, “Hannah says Alex - one of the Hufflepuff beaters - is interested in her. Maybe he’ll make his move and she’ll move on.”

Harry nodded as he started the next row. Almost time to start the decreases. He admired the hat, frowning at its slight lopsidedness. Surely that would block out.

Ron scrubbed at his face and sighed with his fingers tangled in his hair. “This won’t be easy, Harry. And I know I was an arse earlier.” He sighed again heavily. “Let’s give it the night, see how breakfast goes. Hermione - she might take longer to come around.”

“Yeah, okay. I’m sorry if I wasn’t - you know. I just got flustered in the carriage. And I know this is difficult. Thanks for trying.”

Ron nodded as he pulled on his pyjamas. The three boys settled into bed, curtains closed and lights out. Harry tried to get comfortable but he found himself tossing and turning. After so many nights sleeping against Draco’s body, he missed the extra heat, the comfort of his arms. It was going to be a series of long nights until the Easter holidays.

\--------

Neville was the first to leave in the morning. He wished Harry good luck again before heading out. Ron waited until Harry was ready so they could got to breakfast together. Before they walked out the door, Ron gave Harry a hug. Harry sighed into it and held Ron tight.

“You are the bravest sap I’ve ever met and too many times I’ve hated myself for letting you down.” He pulled away and met Harry’s eyes. “I’m going to try but fuck, if you manage to find the most difficult path every time!”

Harry blushed.

“C’mon, let’s go down before I lose my resolve to be nice.” Ron sent a patronus to Hermione but she responded that she’d already eaten and would meet them in Charms.

Draco was waiting for them outside the Great Hall when they finally made it down. Heat rushed through Harry’s body and he knew he was grinning like a fool again. He hugged Draco tight, rubbing their cheeks together lightly. 

Draco kissed his neck, then pulled away to ask, “Having a good morning?”

“Yeah, it’s been a start at least.” Taking Draco’s hand, he led the three of them into the Great Hall. Draco sat next to him at the Gryffindor table, with Ron sitting across.

“Granger’s not joining us today?”

“Er, no,” Ron blushed. “It’s kind of a lot for her.”

Draco, matter-of-fact, asked “Because my aunt tortured her?” He poured himself some juice and shrugged, “If it helps, you can tell her Aunt Bella did something similar to me too. No scar, though.”

Ron’s mouth gaped open until Harry kicked him. “Actually, she’s having trouble with all of it - you, and Harry being gay in general.”

“Oh.” Draco said, looking Harry over. “Did you know? You didn’t say that might be an issue.”

Harry shrugged. “I didn’t think of it. She didn’t say anything about Seamus and Dean.”

“Yeah, I think she didn’t realize about them. They weren’t obvious about it and she, of course, wouldn’t have seen them in our dorm so… “ Ron crunched away at his bacon. “It was different for her, growing up muggle.”

“Oh, I thought it was just Harry’s muggle family that had that attitude. Well then, that kiss yesterday must have really put her knickers in a twist.”

Harry blushed. “I wasn’t thinking.”

“We know.”

Ron kept the conversation light after that, focusing on their upcoming term and Harry’s success with whittling. He laughed when Draco pulled out the lumpy spoon and perfectly carved fork and began eating breakfast with them. Harry relaxed as the meal went on. Hopefully he’d make as much progress with the Slytherins at lunch time.

Harry gave Draco a quick peck on the cheek when they separated for class. Harry was nervous now, to catch up to Hermione. Ron was tense next to him and Harry knew it wasn’t entirely for the same reason. 

“You told him about the Dursleys?”

“Yeah.”

“The cupboard. The bars.”

“Yeah all of it. He shared some of his… things too. It wasn't easy, living with Voldemort.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

It was difficult to pay attention during Charms. Usually the three of them shared a corner of the room for their practicals but Hermione left to practice with Hannah and Susan, forcing Neville to join Ron and Harry.

Neville asked, “What’s with Hermione?”

“She’s not too happy with me right now.” Harry darted a glance at Ron. “I’m sorry she’s avoiding me. And now you.”

“She’ll come around, just give it time,” Ron said, with a last glance at her before focusing on their classwork.

Harry felt uneasy through the entire lesson. Ron kept glancing at Hermione, and sighing. Out of the corner of his eye, Harry watched Hermione watching them. First he’d driven Ginny away, and now Hermione might follow. Perhaps having Ron on his side would help him keep her. It had always been the three of them together, and he couldn’t imagine life without Ron or Hermione. He couldn’t bear it if this is what drove them apart. Especially since Ron was so deep in love with her. Harry would not be the thing that broke them up.

As a result, he decided to skive off Transfiguration. Maybe Ron could talk to Hermione and soften her a bit. 

He made nice with the Slytherins during lunch, especially after they insisted on dropping the formality of last names. Blaise played card games of all sorts and was interested in seeing some of Harry’s card tricks. He spent the entire lunch hour talking about his whist club, various strategies, and a two player variant.

Draco kept his pureblood mask firmly in place throughout the meal. Harry noticed the tense set of his jaw and the nervous licking of his lips as he watched his friends interact with Harry. It was something Harry understood, for it made him nervous watching Draco with his own friends. 

Harry held Draco’s hand as they headed to Herbology. “Blaise is pretty passionate about whist.”

“Yes. His mother takes it seriously and it’s how they bond. No one likes it much, but we humor him because otherwise he’d have no way to connect with anyone. 

Harry squeezed Draco’s hand. “I’ve missed you.”

“How can you miss me? We see each other all the time.”

“Now that everyone’s back and we have lessons, there are whole hours where I don’t see you. I miss you.”

“You’re a sap,” Draco said fondly with a kiss to Harry’s cheek.

“After class, want to go somewhere and have a little fun?”

“More like after dinner. I have Ancient Runes and you have Magical Creatures.”

Inwardly, Harry cringed. He forgot Draco shared Ancient Runes with Hermione. “Hagrid won’t mind. C’mon, it’ll be fun,” Harry said with an exaggerated wink.

Draco kissed him soundly and laughed, “After dinner. We’ll go to your puzzle room. Goodness knows no one will go near that place.”

They worked together through Herbology, pruning flat after flat of fuzzy little plants. Harry saw Hermione watching them out of the corner of her eye, but there was nothing to see. Much to Harry’s disappointment, Draco was a perfect gentleman. No lingering touches, no charming winks, no seductive licking of lips. His proximity still made Harry feel warm and he went on to Care of Magical Creatures with a wide smile on his face.

Harry hurried back to the castle after class, promising to help Hagrid clean up next time, because Draco was eating dinner at the Gryffindor table and he didn’t want to leave him waiting with Ron and Hermione.

Ron was already by the Great Hall doors when Harry came up. Moments later, they heard Hermione’s voice. 

“It’s just not - not natural, two men together!”

“You live in a supernatural world!” Draco responded. “How can you wave a stick around and make your books fly up into your arms but you can’t believe I can love Harry?”

Harry could just picture the exasperated look on Hermione’s face. The smirk on Ron’s face said he was imagining it too.

“I’m willing to be civil,” her sharp voice rang out. “For Harry. I can’t understand it but I love him and I can’t lose him.”

“That's something, at least. Thank you, Granger.”

“Just please, don’t - no kissing, or touching, or - or things like that.”

Draco’s voice cooled, “And in return, you’ll do the same. No kissing or touching of your Weasley?”

Harry bit back a smile while Ron scowled.

“That’s not - “ she stuttered. “Oh, fine! I suppose that’s fair enough,” she finally sighed. Ron flipped Harry two fingers. “We’ll re-evaluate in a week?”

“One week,” Draco agreed.

They came around the corner, surprised to see Ron and Harry waiting. Hermione blushed, eyes on the floor. Ron moved to kiss her cheek but she leaned out of the way. He scowled at Draco and pulled Hermione by the elbow into the Great Hall.

“No touching for a week?” Harry asked with a small smile.

“We’re compromising.”

“Sounds like you’re punishing Ron.”

“That’s just a small bonus.” Draco pulled Harry close. “But right now, they’re in there and we’re out here.” He pushed Harry against the wall and attacked his mouth. His hands slid down Harry’s body and squeezed his arse, pressing their hips together. He pulled away with a smirk. “Come along, we have friends to win over.”

Conversation was stilted but they made it through dinner without incident. Draco was once again the perfect gentleman, leaving eight to ten centimetres between them throughout the meal. But as soon as they were done eating, he half dragged Harry up to the puzzle room.

Harry had been looking forward to their after dinner fun all day. After nearly two weeks of Draco all to himself, it was difficult to share him now. They kissed and caressed as they climbed stairs, pausing every now and again to grind and grope. Finally they reached the door and Draco fumbled with the knob while Harry started removing Draco’s uniform.

Harry placed a sticking charm over the table to keep the pieces from falling off then shoved it out of the way entirely. He transfigured two of the chairs into a small squishy bed. Tearing his clothes off, he bounced into the bed with a wide smile.

Draco stripped his uniform off slowly, turning and preening for Harry’s benefit.

“Move faster.”

“You need to develop more patience,” Draco said, although he did strip faster. He crawled over Harry’s body and let his tongue tease at Harry’s lips.

Harry rolled them so he could kiss his way down Draco’s body. He loved the resistance as he bit down on the muscle of Draco’s chest. He sucked and licked little spots here and there, enjoying the bloom of red against the pale skin. Finally he reached Draco’s cock and took his time swallowing him down. 

Draco was so quiet, even when he was close to finishing. But Harry had practice reading the responses of his body and they had become just as enticing as appreciative moans would have been. He felt the tense of muscle in Draco’s thighs beneath his hands. The rapid beat of his pulse as Harry’s lips grazed his neck. The sound of his deep inhale. Draco always held his breath as he reached his peak. Harry backed off until he heard the heavy exhale.

The next time Draco got to the point where he was holding his breath, Harry tried to back off again but Draco held tight to his hair and fucked up hard into Harry’s mouth. Harry moaned around the cock in his mouth, relaxing into the thrusts. His own cock leapt when Draco finally came down his throat.

He swallowed with a moan then sat up so he could bring himself off over Draco’s belly and chest. He never got tired of marking that pale skin. Draco tucked his hand behind his head, the other resting idly on his hip.

“Fuck, Draco, you look beautiful. So beautiful,” Harry groaned as he came. He fell on Draco, kissing his sexy mouth, heedless of the mess between them.

“Clean us up before you fall asleep.”

Harry found his wand and cleaned them both up with a small charm. “I should have transfigured a blanket.”

“Summon your robes. It’ll serve.”

Harry enlarged his school robes and wrapped them up. He didn’t want to let Draco go. “Let’s stay here tonight.”

“You know we can’t.”

Harry grunted and curled up tighter against Draco. “Let’s run away together.”

Draco tickled at Harry and kissed along his neck. “Start making plans,” he whispered as his hand trailed down Harry’s body.

They certainly wouldn’t be putting the empty room to waste.

\--------

Harry knew he was wearing his goofy grin but after two phenomenal orgasms, there was no way he could stop himself. He fixed his hair as best he could, straightened his clothes, and huffed out one last breath before entering the common room. The activities of the last hour were written all over him but he was too happy to care.

He flopped down in his armchair by the fire, near Ron and Hermione. His wide, easy smile dimmed a bit at their serious faces.

“Everything okay?” Harry asked hesitantly.

“Of course,” Ron answered. He hugged Hermione, who turned back to her book without a word.

For the first time in recent memory, the silence around them was awkward. Harry didn’t want to mention his evening with Draco, and he couldn’t ask what was bothering Hermione because he already knew it was him. And now Ron was caught in the middle.

Harry sighed mentally and pulled a sheet of origami paper from his pocket. He folded a simple rose, then conjured a little stick to serve as a stem. He floated it off to rest on Hermione’s book.

She lifted the rose and sighed. “It's just confusing, Harry. You were so happy with Ginny until Malfoy messed it all up.”

Harry fiddled with another piece of paper, unsure what to fold next. “I don't know that I _was_ so happy. I mean I was happy to have her around. As a friend. But now I see that there wasn't much for us physically. Nothing beyond some snogging and hand holding.”

“Maybe there's another girl out there for you. Do you really want to settle for _Malfoy_ without looking around more?”

“Are you suggesting I don't know what I find attractive? That I can't tell the difference between the lukewarm thing I had with Ginny and the passionate thing I have with Draco?” He certainly wasn’t going to tell them about Miele, and that Ginny had felt much the same in his arms.

Hermione turned back to her book. Ron fiddled with the rose to avoid eye contact with Harry. It couldn't be easy to hear about Harry’s lackluster dealings with Ginny.

“I loved Ginny,” Harry said to them both. “I love her still. Just not like I love Draco. And I know enough to know the difference.”

When he got no response to this outburst, he sighed and mumbled a goodnight as he headed for his dorm. 

As he reached the stairs, Hermione called out, “Goodnight Harry!”

It was a tiny overture, but it warmed Harry.

\--------

Harry hardly saw Draco over the next few days. Draco was beginning an extensive potions project with Professor Stanton, and it took up nearly all of his free time. Harry was disappointed but Draco promised to make it up to him over the weekend. The wicked gleam in his eyes was enough to keep Harry from complaining. Too much.

“Malfoy’s busy again?” Ron asked as Harry sat down for lunch alone on the first Friday of term.

“Yeah, he’s working on some big project that’s supposed to help him with his future Potions Mastery. Stanton thinks Draco’s a hero for getting me out of the class.”

“Poisoning you and beating you up is not heroic,” Hermione mumbled.

Harry laughed nervously. In that moment, he knew he could never tell them what really happened in the potions lab back in October. They would never understand and never forgive Draco. He thanked his lucky stars that Ginny hadn’t spilled the truth. He glanced down the Gryffindor table and saw she was sitting with the quidditch team again. She glanced at the Hufflepuff table a few times and giggled with her friends. 

Harry shrugged. “Whatever, I’m happy to be done with potions.”

“You could have just dropped the class. No need for such dangerous antics.”

“All told,” Harry said with a grin, “those ‘dangerous antics’ worked out well for me in the end so I can’t complain.”

Hermione pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m glad we have you to ourselves today. Are you going to join us in the library to get some work done?”

Harry rubbed at his neck, wondering how he could get out of his school work. “Actually, I was thinking of going for a fly?”

“It’s freezing out there, Harry!”

“I have a wand and warming charms. I think I’ll be fine.”

“Harry, you’ve missed several classes this week and I know you haven’t written a single note in the classes you have attended. And I’m pretty sure you haven’t started working on any of the homework you have due.”

“I know. You’ve told me repeatedly. It’ll be fine. I’ll just work on it later.”

“You’re running out of later! Our exams will be here before you know it and won’t you be embarrassed when you can’t pass any of them?”

Harry wanted to argue but knew it was a lost cause. He’d missed a lesson every day this week, and he found he didn’t care. He had fought a war. Cheering Charms and Jelly Legs Jinxes didn’t feel so important anymore. 

But Hermione had been in better spirits since Draco had made himself scarce this week and he found he didn't want to ruin her good mood. With a resigned nod, he gathered his things and followed them to the library. This would be a good chance for her to get whatever else off her chest. And maybe he could find the words that would convince her of his sincerity with Draco. 

Hermione gave him a brief lecture on human transfiguration, so he could begin his essay, but left to find a few books she wanted for reference. Ron waggled his eyebrows with a laugh and followed. 

Harry doodled aimlessly on his parchment. He was tired of school. Tired of the lessons. Tired of homework. Tired of everything. He should have brought something else to do. He emptied his pockets, staring dully at the pack of cards, the yoyo, the slips of origami paper, and the coin he sometimes flipped between his fingers. He sighed and rested his head on the table.

Splayed out that way, he didn't hear someone approach so he nearly leapt out of his chair when a sharp bite landed on his exposed neck. 

“Letting your guard down, Potter?” Draco asked with a smirk. He sat in the chair next to Harry.

“Hey!” Harry said happily. “I thought you were busy this afternoon?”

“I finished early and Pansy said she saw you head this way.”

Harry started shoving things in his bag. “We don't have to be here. Let's go somewhere else. Anywhere else.”

“No it's fine.” Draco said as he sat down. “Stanton has had me in the lab doing prep work every spare moment and I need to catch up with homework.”

“We can do it later. Let's go enjoy some time alone before - “

“Malfoy!” Ron said, startling then both with his appearance. “We thought you were busy this afternoon.”

“I was but now I'm free.” Draco nudged his chair away from Harry and began pulling things out of his bag. 

Hermione set her stack of books down and sat with a huff. Ron sat next to her, eyes darting between Hermione and Draco. He tried to offer a reassuring squeeze of her hand but she pulled away, remembering her deal with Draco. 

“What are you working on today?” Draco asked politely. 

“Transfiguration,” Hermione replied. 

“Oh. Here, my mother sent me this,” he passed a dusty book across the table, “from home. It’s mostly about the addition of potions to aid in the transformation. He lists out various ingredients and their interactions with the three most common spells.”

“Oh, er, thank you.” Hermione flipped through the book then set it aside. 

Draco opened his textbook and began scribbling notes in the margin of his essay. Harry absently tapped his quill and admired the view. Draco looked adorable, all studious and focused. Harry wanted to muss his hair, unbutton a few buttons. Maybe smear a little ink -

“Harry!” Hermione called, startling him from his reverie. “Are you going to work on your essay?”

“Yeah. Of course.” He flipped to a random page and began copying the text, just to look busy. He watched Draco swallow a smile from the corner of his eye.

Twenty minutes later, Ron sighed and leaned back in his chair with a deep stretch. Without stopping her writing, Hermione reached out and soothingly rubbed her hand along his thigh. Harry nearly jumped out of his skin when Draco did the same to him. Because of the distance between their chairs, Draco’s hand was very obviously on his leg. Harry didn’t know how to respond, given the agreement between Hermione and Draco. Would it be okay to lean into it? Spread his legs a little so Draco didn’t have to stretch so far?

No matter, Hermione noticed and removed her hand from Ron. Without comment, Draco removed his hand from Harry’s thigh. Ron’s eyes met Harry’s and they both shifted in their seats, unsure where this was headed.

Harry sighed when it turned into nothing. He’d forgotten how boring the library could be when it only involved school work. He abandoned his random Transfiguration notes and went off searching for a Charms text. He returned with two books that looked promising.

“What is that?” Draco asked.

Harry held it up so Draco could see the title.

“That’s for class?”

“No, I decided to find a charm for my whittling tools. Something that will allow me to carve without risking any more cuts.”

“Oh, that’s a great idea!” Draco said with a smile. He’d been hounding Harry about safety, since Harry wasn’t particularly careful with the tools.

Hermione asked, “I thought you said you didn’t want to use magic for your hobbies?” 

“Well it’s either charm the tools or continue healing myself. If I’m using magic for healing, might as well use it for a preventative. It’ll certainly hurt less.”

“Are you sure you want to keep whittling? I’ve seen the pieces you’ve made so far…” Ron added with a laugh.

Harry flicked his coin at Ron. “Berk! I’ll get better at it. Eventually. Don’t want to give up too soon, right?”

Ron laughed and threw the coin back, knocking into a few books stacked next to Hermione. “Are you done with these? I can put them back.”

“Thank you, darling,” Hermione said absently, returning to her essay. 

Draco winked at Harry. “Can you pass me that red book, babe?”

Harry nearly snorted as he passed a slender red book over. Draco only used little pet names when they were alone and he was absolutely certain no one could hear him.

Hermione frowned at Draco. “No terms of endearment either?”

“That’s up to you,” Draco said calmly. “You’re the one that set the rules that we are all abiding by.”

Hermione scowled at her book and began scribbling furiously across the page. Ron returned and rubbed a few circles down her back to calm her. Harry took advantage of the opportunity to run his fingers down Draco’s back. Harry was sure steam was about to pour from Hermione’s ears but he rather enjoyed winding her up.

“You know what? I think I’m done for the day.” Hermione dried the ink on her essay and began gathering her materials together. “Harry, didn’t you say something about going flying?”

“Yes.” Harry smiled at Draco, “You done too? Want to go with me?”

Draco returned the smile. “Sure thing. Let me check this out to finish later.” He took the book he was using to Madam Pince.

Harry shoved everything haphazardly into his bag. “Ron, you want to come with us?”

Ron looked at Harry, then at Hermione’s blank face. “Er, I think I’ll stay with Hermione. Maybe next time, yeah?”

“Sure, yeah. Next time.” Harry could only hope his face didn’t look as defeated as he felt.

“You could - maybe go too, if you wanted,” Hermione said slowly.

“Really?” Ron asked. His eyes roamed her face, looking for signs of a trap. But she gave him a small smile and nodded before packing up the rest of her things. Ron grinned at Harry as Draco returned. “Right then, let’s go.” Without thinking, he bent to kiss Hermione goodbye.

“No!” Hermione exclaimed, nearly falling from her chair to get away. She blushed a violent red and stood abruptly. Hugging her bag, and eyes on the floor, she mumbled, “I’ll see you at dinner.” Before Ron could properly respond, she scurried away.

Draco cleared his throat. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s not your fault. Well, it is, but it’s not…” Ron laughed nervously and shook his head. “She’ll come - “

“Around, yes we’ve heard,” Draco answered curtly. “Until then, fair’s fair.”

“Right.” Ron shook himself. “Let’s go before this gets more awkward.” He slapped Harry on the back and led the way out of the library.

\--------

The three boys flew until the light faded and they figured it must be near dinner time. There had been a few moments where their senses of humor clashed but Harry was thrilled that they were mostly getting along. It helped that Draco shared the difficulties he had learning to fly again after leaving the Room of Hidden Things. Ron offered up his own fears, and how he’d had to learn to stop hoarding food after going hungry so often during those months they spent hunting.

Dinner was meant to be with the Slytherins that evening but Draco told Harry they’d make plans together for Saturday. Draco kissed Harry soundly outside the Great Hall and told him to enjoy some time with his Gryffindor friends. He needed to spend more time with Pansy, Blaise, and Theo after the busy week he’d had.

Hermione smiled when Harry sat down alone. “Did you boys have fun?”

“Yeah, it was great,” Ron said brightly as he kissed her cheek. “I haven’t raced so hard in such a long time.”

“Was it terribly cold?”

“At those speeds, absolutely. But Draco’s handy with a warming charm. Said it’s because the Manor’s difficult to warm…” Ron trailed off as Hermione’s face soured.

“So it’s ‘Draco’ now, is it?”

“Yeah,” Ron said, serving his food with excessive care, “he said if we’re going to be friends…”

Harry nibbled his lip. “It’s nice. Pansy, Blaise, and Theo said the same to me.”

“Fine.” Hermione picked at her food.

Harry sighed and rested his head in his hands. “Just say it. Whatever you’re pissed off about.”

“I said it’s fine.”

An ugly silence settled while Harry inwardly seethed, and Hermione sulked, and Ron didn’t know how to bridge the gap.

“It’s just all happening so fast! You two are at each other’s throats for years, you’re fighting in potions and we have to stay away from him. And now you’re - you’re - “ she gestured, her face scrunched up. “And now we’re just supposed to be happy that you’re - with a boy! And Malfoy no less! It’s too much!” She cut off suddenly, chest heaving and cheeks flush.

“Hermione…” Harry sighed. 

“I’m sorry, Harry. I just can’t. I thought I could but it’s too much. I’m scarred. Permanently. Forever. I will never, ever forget what happened because it’s carved in my arm. I’m sorry.” Tears falling from her eyes, Hermione fled the Great Hall.

“I’m sorry. I’m going - “ Ron quickly followed her.

Harry’s stomach twisted, his appetite completely gone. He wanted to flee, too, but wasn’t sure his legs could support him right now. He was a selfish, fucking idiot. This was never going to work. He rested his head in his hands, trying to take deep breaths to keep from crying.

Familiar arms came around him, tucking his head against a firm shoulder. Harry grasped at Draco’s robe and fought off tears. 

“C’mon, love, let’s go,” Draco whispered. “Want to go to my room? Blaise and Theo will stay away a while.”

“Yeah,” Harry whispered. “Please.” Keeping his arm around Harry’s waist, Draco helped him down the stairs.

Draco pulled off Harry’s shoes and tucked him into bed. Curled up with him, he rubbed soothing circles on Harry’s back. “Tell me what happened,” Draco said softly.

“I think Hermione’s not going to come around.” Harry’s breath hitched and he finally started crying. “It’s just not fair,” he said around sobs.

Draco made soothing sounds. “No one knows better than we do that life isn’t fair.”

“I thought if we just kept going, it would get better. But we have such a fucked up history. I don’t know why I thought it would just fall away.”

“We put a lot of it to rest over the holiday. No one else got that chance.”

“Your friends adjusted fast enough,” Harry whined.

“They’re Slytherins. They understand the value in having you on their side. You think anyone wants to forgive Pansy for her grand announcement at the Battle? But you did and that paved the way for others.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re a fucking hero and they’d have to be complete idiots to throw away your friendship.”

“Stop flattering me,” Harry said with a tiny smile. “Let me whine and be miserable.”

Draco gave a sad smile as he met Harry’s eyes. “It’s different for your friends. You know they have nothing to gain by befriending me.”

“It would make me happy. Isn’t that enough?”

“Your naivete is adorable.”

“Can I stay here with you? Tonight?”

“Of course.”

\--------

Harry woke the next morning finally feeling well rested after a week of missing Draco at night. The warm body wrapped tight around him made him reluctant to get up but nature’s call would not be denied.

When he came back, Draco was curled up in the warm space he’d left behind. He was tempted to crawl back in but decided it was time to return to his dorm. He was sure Ron would be bursting with apologies and explanations. He left a note for Draco and quietly left.

He was equally quiet when he opened the door to his dorm. He was surprised to see Neville wasn’t in his bed; he wasn’t an early riser by any means. His curiosity spiked when he found Hermione and Ron cuddled up together in Ron’s bed, both sound asleep.

Did Neville leave to give them privacy? Did they ask him to leave? Did they fall asleep together while they waited for Harry to return? Or did she sleep over on purpose? It wouldn’t be the first time Hermione slept in their dorm.

The unfairness of it all clawed at Harry. Why was it okay for her to stay here with her boyfriend while he had to skulk around with his? He wanted to pull his hair out in frustration. He’d been on an emotional rollercoaster for three months and he was ready to get off. He was done trying to decipher his emotions. Done trying to make everyone around him happy. Done walking on eggshells. 

It was time to embrace the selfishness. 

He cast a silencing charm around Ron’s bed and found the keys to his trunk. He opened the various compartments until he found one that was mostly empty. Another swish of his wand and his belongings sailed into the trunk. Finally he shrunk the whole thing and pocketed it. He took one last look around to be sure he had everything and left for the Slytherin dorms. 

\--------

All three Slytherins were still sleeping when Harry returned. He dumped his trunk at the foot of the bed next to Draco’s. He briefly wondered if this had been Goyle’s or Crabbe’s bed but shook off that disturbing thought. It was his now. 

He cast a warming charm on himself so his chilled body wouldn't startle Draco, then climbed back in his bed. Draco stretched against him and settled back down with his arms around Harry. 

Harry's heart was racing as he hugged Draco close. Full of adrenaline from his bold move, he couldn't stop his hands from roaming all over the soft body next to him. He wasn’t entirely comfortable fooling around with others in the room but he needed comfort right now. He cast a strong silencing charm around the bed and locked the curtains closed. 

Then turned to seducing Draco in earnest. 

Draco groggily mumbled when Harry tugged his pyjama bottoms down. His hand aimlessly carded through Harry's hair as Harry licked and sucked at Draco’s prick. Fuck, he tasted heavenly. 

Shucking off his own clothes, Harry straddled Draco’s hips and rocked their erections together. His hand stroked both their cocks until Draco wriggled for him to get on with it. Scrambling for his wand, Harry cast several charms on himself to save time. He needed to feel Draco inside him. Needed to be pounded until he forgot everything around him. 

Only Draco was still mumbly and half asleep. His fingers grasped feebly at Harry's hips as Harry lowered himself on Draco’s cock. Even sleepy as he was, Draco managed to make barely a whimper as Harry rocked above him. It didn't matter, Harry could moan enough for the both of them. 

“Fuck, Draco. So good inside me.” Harry's head fell back as he linked their fingers together at his hips and drove himself harder against Draco. Heat poured out from his center, driving him higher. His hand flew over his prick, so close. “Love you. So much.” 

Harry wanted to bend down and kiss Draco. Wanted to savor this moment. Wanted to wrap himself in Draco’s arms and let the rest of the world hang. 

But his orgasm rushed up like a wave and crashed over him, spilling out over Draco’s belly. But he didn't stop. Couldn't stop fucking himself on Draco until he saw the flush creep up Draco’s neck. The fingers squeezing at his own. And oh fuck, the hot rush of Draco’s come inside him. 

He sunk down on Draco, burying his face in Draco’s neck. He sighed when he felt Draco’s hands lightly caress his back. 

It was going to be okay. He had Draco and it would be fine. With a contented sigh he cleaned them up and pulled enough clothes on to be decent when he left the bed. 

Blaise and Theo didn't blink an eye at Harry emerging from Draco’s bed. But it was unnaturally quiet when Harry rummaged in his trunk for fresh clothes. He set up his things around the bed he had claimed. Knick knacks and books found their way to the small side table and he proudly hung his finger painting above the bed. 

Blaise, with a glance at Draco watching from his own bed, said “That’s a lovely bit of artwork.”

“Thank you. Draco worked on it with me.”

“I like how you signed your name through that brown bit. Why doesn't it change color like the rest?”

“It’s a mystery,” said Harry with a smile. Draco laughed and threw his covers aside, searching for his slippers. 

“Did you spill something on it?” Theo asked. “Because my cousin had some like that and she - “

“He said it's a mystery, Theo. Let it go.” Draco kissed Harry's cheek, then gathered his things for a shower. 

Harry sat on his new bed and set out a game of solitaire while he waited on Draco. Blaise sat with him and asked after his version's rules, then asked to see some of Harry's tricks. 

They were laughing at Harry's third botched attempt to find his card when Draco came back. 

“Draco, did you lie when I showed you this trick?”

Draco laid himself across Harry's bed with a wicked smile. “Of course I did.”

Harry tossed the cards and kissed Draco. Blaise barked a laugh as he left for his own shower. 

“You want to go to breakfast?” Draco asked. 

“Yeah, I'm starved,” Harry lied easily. 

“We can eat here. The kitchens are just around the corner.”

Harry sighed in relief. “Actually, that would be great.”

Draco kissed him and pat his thigh, then led the way out to the common room. He whispered to Pansy and she winked before whistling at a nearby boy to follow her out. They returned ten minutes later with a veritable feast. 

Other people trickled down, and the impromptu breakfast party grew. As did the noise level, which surprised Harry. Usually the Slytherin table was subdued but here in their common room they laughed and shouted over each other much like the Gryffindors. 

Harry showed off his juggling skills with three bright green apples. The boy that helped Pansy with the food, a seventh year still called Little Marcus even though Marcus Flint was long gone, was also a juggler. He tried juggling bananas but they were too irregular for his skill level. 

“Hey Potter, you ever juggle with two people?” he asked Harry. 

“No, not yet. Want to give it a go?” Harry gathered some apples and tried to guess how best to go about it. “What if I start with two, and you throw a third apple at me?”

“Just tell me when you're ready!” Little Marcus bounced in his toes, ready with his apple. 

Harry started tossing the two apples from hand to hand. It was terribly awkward without the third piece. He tossed again and nodded. “Now!” He shouted. 

But it wasn't now. Little Marcus threw the apple, missing Harry’s hand completely. It bounced off his chest, making him drop the other two apples. 

With a laugh, Harry picked up an apple and chucked it at the other boy. There was a moment where Harry thought he had ruined the festive mood, but then Draco threw an orange at him and everyone started giggling again. Pansy joined in with another orange thrown at Theo and before they knew it, a full scale fruit war had broken out. 

Wiping tears of laughter from his eyes as they wound down, Harry said, “You lot are more fun than I thought.”

Pansy shrugged. “It’s easy to relax here. Among our own kind, so to speak.” She kicked a stray grape from her shoe, then began vanishing bits of fruit from the floor.

Harry pulled his wand and helped. Others joined the clean-up and in no time the room was back to normal. People drifted off in twos and threes, making plans for the snowy Saturday.

“Want to stay here today?” Draco asked, as though Harry hadn’t moved everything he owned into the Slytherin dorm.

“Yeah. I’m going to finish your hat today if it kills me.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “About time, too. You’ve only got a few rows left, yeah? You should start my matching gloves now so I’m sure to get them by next winter.”

“Hey, I’ve had a lot on my plate, with all these lessons - “

“Half of which you’ve dropped or missed.”

“ - and homework - “

“Which you haven’t started. Do you even have paper that isn’t for origami?”

“ - and snogging my sexy boyfriend.”

“Well at least your priorities are in order.” Draco pulled Harry close and kissed along his jaw. “Finish my hat and we can do that last thing on your list.”

Harry grinned and summoned his small knitting bag. Sprawled across the armchair, he began the last few decrease rows. Pansy joined him with her own bag of needlework.

“Is that embroidery? How do you like it?” Harry asked, ever on the lookout for the next time filler.

Pansy shrugged. “It’s something to do, I guess. My father had a very short list of approved women’s work and this was one of them. Sometimes I wonder why I still do it, but I admit, I like the decoration on my robes.” She held out her sleeve so he could see the delicate stitches traveling around the hem.

“Don’t get distracted!” Draco called out from his table by the lake windows. “Finish my hat!”

Pansy scrunched up her pug nose and stuck her tongue out at Draco. Harry smiled and resumed knitting. He finally pulled the yarn through the last stitches and wove in the dangling tails. He stretched and pulled the hat into shape. It turned out all right.

Harry pulled it over his head and smiled at Pansy. “How does it look?”

“Something odd over here, I think? But you can straighten that out with a spell.”

“I messed up the cable there but didn’t know how to fix it. I’ll just leave it as an adorable point of interest.”

“No you won’t,” Draco called out again, eyes on his parchment. “I’m not wearing a lumpy hat.”

“Of course you are, darling,” Pansy laughed, swishing her wand to send the hat sailing to Draco’s head. Harry thought Draco looked rather fetching in a hat he’d made.

“It fits perfectly!” Harry smiled, “The grey brings out your eyes. You look beautiful.”

“I look _handsome_ ,” Draco replied.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s beautiful.” Harry turned to Pansy. “Now show me how to get started.

Draco shook his head at the two of them as he returned to his essay, wearing his only-slightly-lumpy hat.

\--------

Harry didn’t want to call his day in the Slytherin common room “hiding.” But he knew it was when Draco asked if he wanted to go to the Great Hall for lunch and he couldn’t bear to leave. Draco didn’t question his decision, only sent Pansy off for more food for lunch. 

Later that afternoon, when Harry was surrounded by various colorful threads, Ron’s terrier patronus came trotting up to Harry and said, “Just tell us if you’re all right.”

Harry sent his stag off with a simple, “I’m fine.” What did they make of his empty portion of the room? Did they go to McGonagall? Did she know Harry had moved himself to the Slytherin dorm? And worse, would she make him move back?

He shook off those thoughts and focused on the square of fabric held taut by magic instead of a hoop. Pansy gave him a nervous smile and returned to her own work.

“What is it?” Harry asked.

“Nothing.” She bit her lip and looked at Draco, sitting across from Harry. “It’s - you cast a patronus so easily. It’s eerie.”

“Oh,” Harry looked around at the other students subtly watching the exchange. “Not terribly common here, I guess?”

“Not really, no.” Pansy clipped her thread and secured the ends with a small spell.

“It just takes practice and a happy memory. Eventually it gets easy enough that you don’t even need a memory to make it.”

Pansy laughed, “Only you would say such a powerful spell is no big deal.”

“It isn’t. The Aurors use it for communication and have to be able to send it, no matter their mental state.” Harry looked earnestly at her, “It’s just a spell.”

“If you say so.” Pansy bit her lip and packed up her things and headed for her room.

“I could teach you!” Harry called after her. He looked around at the poorly disguised interest. “I could teach all of you. While I’m here.”

A few heads bent together to mull over the suggestion. The exchange was obvious - let Harry stay without making a fuss, and he would teach them a spell most of their parents were incapable of managing. The lure of such skill was too strong. 

Smiles greeted his suggestion and plans were made for a first lesson.

\--------

Holding tight to Draco’s hand, he didn’t hesitate when they got to the Great Hall for breakfast the next morning. He sat at the Slytherin table as if he’d been sorted there and began serving up his food, with his back to the Gryffindor table. Draco sat next to him, and they were soon joined by Pansy, Blaise, and Theo.

Harry was amazed at the change in the Slytherins. Gone were the students ready for a food fight at moment’s notice. These were students raised to hide their every thought and feeling. With subdued voices they passed syrup and commented on the crispiness of the bacon. Harry was tempted to throw an apple but figured no one would understand the compulsion.

It was easy to hide away for the rest of Sunday, emerging from Slytherin only for meals. On Monday, he abandoned his regular timetable and instead followed Draco to his lessons. The only classes Slytherins shared with Gryffindors were Herbology and Defence so Harry skipped those to avoid Ron and Hermione. Draco didn’t mention either of them so Harry assumed they were leaving Draco alone.

Each evening, the Slytherins would meet in the common room to practice their patronus spells. Happy memories were difficult to come by, as most of the students had been raised in rather strict households. Harry, trying to call to mind happy thoughts, ended up listening to many of them list harsh punishments similar to his own upbringing. Many discussed the lonely and difficult summer they had, living with extended relatives they barely knew because their own parents were killed or imprisoned during the war.

Harry encouraged them to focus on the people they were close to and the happy memories they built at school. He had them meditate and learn to calm their anxiety when the spell refused to work. He had Zoe, a seventh year known in Slytherin for her skill as a DJ, blast dance music, which helped elevate everyone’s mood. But instead of practice, it just led to wild dancing and singing. Harry could suddenly understand how an entire house could learn to sing “Weasley is our King.”

Throughout the week, Harry convinced himself that he didn’t miss Ron and Hermione, and the comforts of Gryffindor Tower. Every day Ron sent his terrier patronus to ask after Harry, and every day Harry sent his stag back with nothing more than, “I’m fine.” Draco was there with a tight hug every time.

When Harry arrived in the Charms classroom with Draco on Thursday morning, Professor Flitwick handed him a note from the Headmistress demanding his immediate presence. Draco gave him an encouraging squeeze of the hand and promised to share his notes with Harry.

Headmistress McGonagall looked intimidating behind her large desk, so unlike the stoic-but-kind Minerva that Harry had grown accustomed to. She adjusted her glasses as he sat down and offered him tea. Harry shook his head, fidgeting with the sleeves of his robes.

“Mr Potter, it has been brought to my attention that you are attending lessons with the Slytherins.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And that you have moved all your things from Gryffindor into Slytherin.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

McGonagall stared at him, making him squirm, but Harry refused to apologize. She sipped from her cup and Harry regretted not having something to do with his hands. He doubted origami would fix this conversation.

McGonagall sighed, “Harry, why are you here?”

“You called me here.”

“No, I mean at this school. Why did you return this year?”

Harry shrugged. “Hermione said it was important to finish my education.” He tugged at his sleeve again. “And it was - is - a safe place. No reporters or - or expectations.”

“You do realize we have _some_ expectations. Attending lessons, completing your assignments promptly.”

“Er, I’ve been attending lessons?” Damn, why did it sound like a question?

“You’ve been attending only a few of your lessons and, so far as I know, you haven’t turned in a single assignment this term.”

Harry dropped his head into his hands. “I know. It just hasn’t felt important enough.”

“Completing your education isn’t important?”

“No! It’s - “ Harry sighed and looked around the spare office. He rubbed at his scar, a habit he wish he could stop. “I don’t know what I’m finishing for. I don’t know what comes next and so I’m sort of… waiting?”

“I don’t like to admit it but I don’t know what to do with you. I could assign you detention for missing class but that isn’t likely to influence your behavior if you even show up for it. I can’t expel you from Hogwarts because the press would have field day with that one. So I ask you, what can I do?”

Harry shook his head. He didn’t know. He didn’t know what he wanted, or where he was going. He didn’t have answers for the questions everyone asked. And every time he was confronted with it, all he wanted was to curl up in bed and hide from it all.

“Professors Flitwick, Sprout, and Hagrid are all willing to let you come and go as you please from their classes. But Professor Fawley and Professor Ashworth have expressed the opinion that your attitude is nothing but a distraction.”

“I’m sorry, Headmistress. I didn’t think anyone noticed.”

“You are famous, Harry. Everyone notices. Professor Ashworth has had a particularly difficult time teaching Defence and has been asked one too many times about your heroics during the war.” Her mouth quirked in a small smile. “You have to make an effort. At the very least, please attend your lessons regularly.”

Harry nodded, gaze on his lap. “Can I still stay with the Slytherins?”

“Can I stop you?”

Harry bit back a smile and shook his head.

“It’s settled then? You’ll attend your lessons?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

With a curt nod, he was dismissed.

\--------

In the Slytherin common room, Blaise, Pansy, and Draco were playing cards around a small table. Draco jumped up when he saw Harry.

“What did she want?”

“She said I could stay here. If I wanted.” Harry plucked at his sleeve.

“We’d like you to stay,” Draco said with a gentle smile.

Harry nodded, inwardly relieved. “And that I need to go to my lessons. All of them. And I can keep going with you.”

“All right. That’s not so bad then, yeah?” Draco hugged him tight and let Harry rest his head on his shoulder.

“So now you're one of us, then?” Blaise asked.

“Yeah, I guess,” Harry said with a special smile just for Draco. He inclined his head toward the dorms, and Draco responded with a wink. He took Draco’s hand and led him back to their room. 

Draco pulled Harry down on his bed and held him close while stroking his hair. “What else did she say?”

Harry nuzzled into Draco’s neck and kissed along his jaw. Draco pulled back and looked at Harry with mock seriousness. “Behave yourself. What did she say?”

Harry sighed. “The usual. What am I here and what am I doing with my life. And as usual I have no response.” Harry traced the skin of Draco’s back and fought back the urge to babble. “I'm not used to making my own decisions and this is such a big one.”

“What did she say about your move here?”

“Only acknowledged that it happened.”

Draco’s face lit up. “Oh good. I was worried she’d make you move back.”

“She said she couldn't really make me do anything.”

“Harry Potter, loose cannon.”

“Basically.” Harry relaxed into the caress of Draco’s hands. His kisses along Harry’s neck sent tiny shivers down his spine. He could feel the questions on the tip of Draco’s tongue. “Ask me,” Harry whispered. 

“Do you miss them?” Draco whispered back. 

Ron’s terrier appeared in that moment, with the usual, “Are you all right?”

Harry’s breath caught in his throat. No, he wasn't all right. It was all too much. After a lifetime of being told what to do, it was too hard to face a future that wasn't mapped out. And without two of the people he cared about most.

He got up to pace the floor, Ron’s terrier swirling around his feet then disappearing. All those years he spent whining about how his destiny was set and he hadn't asked to be the hero. And now, he whined because he had to make a decision on his own. How long was he going to wallow in self-pity?

Draco watched him pace for a few minutes, then said, “Tell him you're fine.”

“I'm not fine.”

“Tell him you're fine and we'll make a list.”

Harry stopped his frantic pacing and looked curiously at Draco. “What sort of list?”

“An organize your thoughts list.”

Harry sent off his stag and joined Draco on the bed. Draco summoned parchment, ink, and quill, then conjured a small board to write on. 

“We're going to make a list of all the things you love.”

“Okay.” 

“We’ll start with people.” Draco wrote “People Harry Loves” at the top of the parchment and a number one just below it. “In no particular order, name a person that you love.”

“You,” Harry said easily. 

Draco blushed lightly and wrote his own name down. “Why?”

Harry nibbled at his lip nervously. It was silly, but he didn't want to tell Draco why he loved him. It was embarrassing and sappy. “Er, the sex is good.”

“I'm not writing that down. Something else.”

Harry looked down at his lap and said quietly, “You understand about the war. About how hard it is to move on. You don't tip toe around me. You treat me like I'm no one special.”

Draco tilted his head in confusion. “I think you're special.”

“Yeah but you're more like ‘you belong to me’ and not ‘wow you’re famous.’ I love that you don't treat me like I'm on some pedestal.”

“Do you like belonging to me?” Draco asked with a wicked smile. 

“You know I do.” Harry leaned forward, expecting a soft kiss. 

Instead, Draco smirked and said, “Who else do you love?”

“Ron and Hermione.” He waited while Draco wrote their names. “They were my first friends. They've been with me through some awful shit. Up until recently they've been very supportive.”

“It's only been a week. We’ll fix it.”

Harry nodded. “I love Ginny.” Draco stiffened but wrote her name. “I hate that I hurt her like I did. But she was there for me especially right after the war, as a friend. She's forgiven me more than I deserve.”

Harry wondered what she thought of the situation now. Was it easier for her to not think of him at all? 

“Neville, for always being supportive and brave in his own way. Seamus and Dean, even though we've had our differences. They're in London now but they still write frequently. Luna, too. She writes from South America. Sometimes she sends me drawings of creatures that aren't there.”

Harry didn't realize how small his circle of friends really was. It was difficult to let people in, to see the real him. Too many expected him to play the hero all the time. 

“Molly Weasley. She was the first mother figure I had.” His voice cracked. Did she know? What did she make of the way he broke Ginny’s heart and abandoned Ron and Hermione? “The Weasleys are like my family.” Harry rubbed at his scar. “Do you think they hate me?”

“No Harry. They might be upset with your decisions but families, close families like theirs… They'll forgive you.”

Harry nodded and wiped at his eyes. “McGonagall. She's like a stern grandmother that slips me sweets when no one's looking. And Hagrid. I think he's the only person who's ever thought I never did anything wrong.”

Harry had been to see Hagrid everyday this week. Only attending a few classes left him with lots of free time. Hagrid accepted his help without commenting on what Harry should be doing instead. It gave Harry plenty of time to think. Or wallow, whichever was convenient. 

“So what do you think of my list?”

“I think it's longer than mine would be.” Draco trimmed the parchment and folded it into a small square he tucked in Harry’s pocket. “I think you value family, and need to take care of the people around you. Even though you've been hurt, you still worry about their well being. I think you think you are being selfish right now, but I know it's temporary and you deserve a break from worrying about the people around you. You are not responsible for everyone's happiness.”

“I - I know that.”

Draco held tight to Harry’s hands and peered closely at him. “You are not responsible for everyone's happiness.”

Harry’s brow furrowed. “I know.”

“Say it. ‘I am not responsible…’”

“I’m not responsible for everyone’s happiness.”

“Good.” Draco got up and pulled his pyjamas from his trunk. “We’re going to bed now and you’re going to repeat that to yourself until you fall asleep. Maybe by morning you’ll believe it.”

Harry changed into his pyjamas and followed Draco into bed. With comforting arms holding him tight, he drifted off to sleep with the mantra running through his head.

\--------

The next morning, Harry felt it was time to stop wallowing in self-pity and fix what was wrong with Ron and Hermione. He was not responsible for their happiness but he _was_ responsible for his own. And his happiness would be improved with the two of them back in his life.

The first step would be to increase visibility. He couldn’t mend what was wrong if he was hiding in Slytherin all the time. Kissing Draco goodbye, Harry sat at the Gryffindor table for the first time in a week. Everyone noticed, and heads bent together to discuss the latest development, but Harry ignored them.

“Good morning,” Harry said quietly. He spread jam on a piece of toast and took a tiny bite. He swallowed around the nervous lump in his throat.

“Good morning,” Ron replied. He looked at Hermione, but she was blushing at her empty plate. “Are you joining us for class?”

“Not today.”

Ron nodded and served up his food. They ate in a charged silence. As he finished his fourth piece of toast, Harry smiled and said, “I made you something.” He pulled two small wooden figures, a terrier and an otter, from his pocket. Using magic had improved the quality of his carvings.

“Oh! They're lovely!” Hermione said quietly. “Thank you Harry.”

“See you at lunch?”

“Er, yeah. Lunch. Great.” Ron watched, bewildered, as Harry gathered his bag. “Will - will Malfoy be joining us?”

“No, he’s going to be in the lab for most of the day so he can be free tomorrow. We’re going to Hogsmeade together.”

“Me and Hermione are going too.” Ron glanced at Hermione with a smile. “Okay. We’ll see you at lunch.”

Harry nodded a goodbye and joined Draco as he left the Great Hall for their first lesson.

“Harry, wait!” Ron called after him. Ron caught them by the large staircase. “Will you - why'd you leave us?” He darted a look at Draco.

Harry squeezed Draco’s hand and thought over that night. “At first, I just needed comfort. From Draco. But when I came back, the two of you were so cozy in bed and it just seemed so unfair. It’s not - not fair that I have to hide my boyfriend from her while she gets to flaunt hers, you know? And the Slytherins welcomed me with open arms. No judging, no fighting, no guilt. I'm happy there and this way, Hermione doesn't have to see me, see us, all the time.”

“She misses you. We miss you.”

“I miss you too. But I - “ Harry smiled at Draco, “I love Draco like you love Hermione.” Harry rubbed his scar as he gathered his thoughts. “She's allowed to feel what she feels. I think if she could compromise, it can get better. But treating my boyfriend like he's a random stranger isn't a compromise, especially if she gets to rub her relationship in my face when he's not around.”

Ron nodded. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked back at the Great Hall, emptying of students. “I'll talk to her. Again.”

“Thanks. I - “ Harry didn't know what else he needed to say. “Okay. See you later then.” It was enough for now. 

Just before lunch, Harry attended his first Defence class in over a week. Professor Ashworth eyed Harry suspiciously but he sat at the back of class trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. No one mentioned the war, so Harry thought it all went rather well.

Outside the class, he kissed Draco goodbye and caught up to Ron and Hermione. The three of them walked quietly to the Great Hall and found seats at the end of Gryffindor table. Harry, starving after his light breakfast, loaded his plate with chips. They were small and would keep his hands busy.

Ron was the first to break the silence. “So, what’s it like in Slytherin?”

Harry glanced at the Slytherin table. Little Marcus was eating his sandwich with a fork and knife, and talking quietly with Zoe, as though the two of them didn’t almost choke to death last week playing “How Many Gobstones Can I Fit in My Mouth?” 

Harry smiled at Ron, “Pretty boring, really.” Briefly he thought of Neville’s admonition against keeping secrets and added, “Actually it’s been fun. I’m teaching a group of them to cast a patronus.”

“Oh!” Ron said, surprised. “How is that going?”

“Slowly.” He looked at both Ron and Hermione carefully. “They haven’t had it easy.”

Hermione cleared her throat, “None of us have.”

“They’re just kids,” Harry said softly.

“So were we and we managed to do what was right,” she said sadly.

Harry closed his eyes and thought of Draco’s arms wrapped around him. His appetite gone, Harry stuttered out his goodbyes and left for Care of Magical Creatures.

He was not responsible for Hermione’s happiness. 

\--------

The group of twenty or so Slytherins were in good spirits that afternoon. Nothing like a Hogsmeade weekend to help everyone relax. Harry had them in groups of two and three to talk about their happiest memories. He wandered between them, taking in little snippets of conversation in passing. First solo broom ride, a special watch when they came of age, the first sparks from their wand, a large cake dripping in chocolate glaze, a first kiss, no the second kiss that was even better than the first.

Surprised shrieks rang out when Zoe produced a bright white wisp of smoke. “Damn it! Almost!”

“You can do it! Focus a little more!” Harry said.

She closed her eyes and took another deep breath, “Expecto Patronum!” The white wisp turned into a large bird of prey. Shrieks of laughter and excitement resounded as the bird flew over their heads.

“I did it! I can’t believe it!” Zoe turned and leaped on Little Marcus behind her, smothering him in kisses. “I did it!”

Two other students produced the white wisp and Harry knew it wouldn’t be long before they could all manage it. Everyone shared hugs and well wishes for their next practice. Students started drifting out, getting ready for dinner.

Harry sat next to Pansy on a small sofa. She twirled her wand in her hand, eyes glazed in thought.

“Galleon for your thoughts,” Harry said.

“Isn’t it a knut?” she asked with a smile.

“Surely your thoughts are worth more than that?”

“Indeed,” she said with a smirk. “This is all just harder than I thought it would be. It’s depressing trying to think of a happy memory and finding none. I’ve never been pretty or smart. No special talents or skills. Just sort of blah.” She sniffed and wiped her nose. “And mean.” In a small voice she added, “Jealous.”

“Think of it like a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

“Prophecies are shit and bring only misery. Surely you know that.”

Harry gave her a soft smile. “This one is a good one. If you believe that you can do it, then you can. And if you can, then you believe that you can do it. It goes round and round, getting easier every time.”

“I think it’s time I just admit defeat here.”

“How about this?” Harry asked as he pulled his deck of cards from a pocket. “If I can guess your card, you give it one more go?”

Pansy rolled her eyes but sat up anyway. Harry shuffled the cards and fanned them out. She plucked a single card from the deck, making note of her three of diamonds.

“Now put it back anywhere.”

Harry shuffled the cards and with an elaborate flourish pulled out the three of diamonds. “Is this your card?” he asked with a wide smile.

Pansy’s eyes went wide. “How did you do that?”

He flipped all the cards over to reveal they were all the three of diamonds. “I’m made of magic so I duplicated a single card. Now get up.” Harry stood and pulled a whining Pansy up from the sofa.

“You cheated! I don’t want to try again!” she whined.

“Of course I cheated, this is Slytherin House. Now, stand up straight. Wand out.” Harry laughed at Pansy’s defeated attitude. He stepped close to give her a hug. “It’s okay,” he whispered, “even if it doesn’t work. Don’t give up, yeah?” He rubbed circles on her back and swayed her side to side. “Just relax. Think of something nice. The flowers growing in your garden. A soft breeze on a warm summer day. That moment when you hover on the edge of something great. You’re on the cusp, ready to fly. Deep breath now.”

Holding her hand in his, he directed her wand in a swirl. She whispered, “Expecto Patronum.”

“You did it.” Harry said softly. Trailing from the end of her wand was the soft white wisp, waiting to be more. “It’s a start.”

Pansy wiped tears from her eye and hugged Harry again. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

“I know. I already forgave you. It was - hard on all of us.” He held her while she cried, her hands clasped behind him.

Draco came in then, brimming with excitement. He pulled up short at the sight of his two favorite people. “Everything all right?”

“Yeah,” Harry said as Pansy pulled away to hug Draco. “It’s going to be fine.”

Draco hugged Pansy and kissed both of her cheeks. “Good! I want to celebrate! My first round of samples was a complete success! Stanton says I’m free this weekend!”

The three of them went to dinner where Draco went on and on about the four potions he’d worked on during the week. He finished his meal with a giant slice of chocolate cake.

“Let’s do something fun! Something outside because I’m sick of the lab.”

“It’s freezing outside!” Pansy complained.

“You can wear my hat.” Draco looked down the table and asked who was interested in a snowball fight. Not too many, but enough to make it worth the while. Bundled up and layered in warming charms, they trooped outside for a small snowball fight.

Snowball fighting became exhausted collapsing in the snow, which turned into making snow angels. Harry lay in the snow and admired Draco next to him. His shining eyes, flushed cheeks, and red-tipped nose looked adorable. Harry thought of all the years Draco wore his sour face in public and was glad he was happy with Harry. Draco was beautiful in his excitement.

Harry rolled over him and gave him a cold, wet kiss. 

“Hey! You’re ruining my snow angel!” Draco laughed. 

Harry grabbed a handful of snow and threw it at Draco before jumping up to run away. Draco tackled him back to the ground and they kissed again. It was so fucking freezing, and his clothes were wet, but Harry didn’t care. Draco’s lips were warm and soft and pressed to his so sweetly that nothing else mattered. Well, maybe Draco’s freezing nose mattered as it pressed against Harry’s cheek.

“Let’s go back in. Find some hot chocolate.”

“Perfect.”

They were quite a spectacle, the dripping wet Slytherins heading back to their common room. Someone called for hot chocolate while everyone changed into dry clothes. In a mix of robes and pyjamas, they huddled together near the fires, laughing and talking.

Harry turned to a smiling Pansy at his side, “Do it now. Try your patronus now.”

Pansy looked worriedly at Draco but swirled her wand with a soft, “Expecto Patronum!”

A fish, about the size of a beater’s bat, swirled around Pansy. Briefly it flickered but became bright white when she focused on it. “Draco! Look! I did it!”

“Pansy! Oh my god! You did it!” Draco picked her up and swirled her around, distracting her enough to drop the charm.

“Oh, you made me lose it!”

“It’s okay. You can call it back.” Draco grabbed her face and kissed her cheeks. “You did it!”

Pansy hugged Harry, then her other friends gathered around to congratulate her. A few others tried to cast too, and several managed the thick white smoke.

Draco pulled Harry close as Pansy was lost in the crowd. He whispered against Harry’s skin, “I’ve had all the good news I can handle today. Let’s go to bed and celebrate privately.”

Harry couldn’t agree more.

\--------

The next few weeks sailed by. Half the Slytherins in his impromptu class were able to cast a patronus. A few third years had tentatively asked for tutoring in smaller spells so Harry set up a regular study time twice a week where they could all work on things together. It wasn’t long before a few Ravenclaws asked to join in, and not long after that Hufflepuffs trickled in.

By the end of February, Harry was running an inter-house study group of about forty students, mostly third and fourth years, from all four Houses. These young students were the ones with the rockiest start on their magical education, and needed the extra lessons. Upper year students came along to help. McGonagall had cleared a large classroom for them to use, offering up supplies as needed.

Hope had flared in Harry when the first Gryffindors had joined them. He was sure Ron and Hermione would follow and it would be like Dumbledore’s Army all over again, but they never came. And they never mentioned it at the meals they shared either. It was yet another whole section of his life he couldn’t share with them.

Reaching out yet again, he finally mentioned it at dinner one Wednesday evening in March.

“I’ve got fifty-eight students coming to the study group.”

Ron looked at him in surprise. “Wow, that’s great! I didn’t realize it had gotten so big.”

“Yeah, it’s mostly fourth year and below. They’ve been doing really well.” He picked at his food aimlessly. “We could do with more help. You know, if you wanted to come along. It’s mostly Defence, Charms, and Transfiguration right now. We’re talking about adding a Potions and Herbology session too, but someone else would need to be in charge of that.”

“Will Malfoy be there?” Hermione asked.

Harry’s shoulders drooped. “Yeah, he comes along when he can. He’s usually busy during his free periods with his potions work, but sometimes…” he trailed off awkwardly.

Hermione shrugged. “We’ll think about it, I guess.”

“Yeah, all right.” The silence settled again. Frustrated, Harry dropped his fork and sighed. “I am not responsible for your happiness.” Harry looked up at Hermione’s shocked face.

“I didn’t think that you were.”

“Yes you did. You are disappointed that I didn’t do what you expected me to do and you can’t stop hating me for it.” She shook her head but he talked over her. “I fell in love, Hermione. He makes me happy. He apologized for being a little shit as a kid, and I did the same. He’s still wily and ambitious and sarcastic and clever, only he’s not mean about it anymore.”

“I can’t just forget all about his past, Harry.”

Harry scrubbed at his hair. “He’s paid for it, Hermione! Ten times over! You think that day we escaped the Manor was an easy one for him? Who do you think they blamed for that? Bellatrix, Voldemort’s right hand? Lucius? He was stupefied! It was Draco. Draco was crucioed until he passed out because he let Harry Potter go, with a handful of wands.” 

Harry stood and looked at his two best friends holding tight to each other. “It’s always been the three of us. But now, it’s the two of you and me. Don’t begrudge me my love when you’ve found yours.”

That night, Harry cried in Draco’s arms.

\--------

The following week, Ron came to Harry’s study session. Harry nodded a hello but went on talking with the two fourth years working on banishing and summoning charms. Harry watched as Ron wandered around, finding a few first years to help.

When he could get away, Harry approached Ron. “Glad you could come.”

“Yeah, thought I’d check it out. See what you’ve done with it.”

“I have a lot of help.” He pointed out a few of the older kids leading small groups. “I’m enjoying it. The teaching.”

“Is that something you think you want to do?” Ron asked tentatively, “After Hogwarts?” 

“I don’t know that I could teach full time. I’m not exactly the type to plan ahead. Usually I just show up and ask what they need to learn today. But I’m having fun.” Harry looked. “And I’ve learned a lot about everyone. It’s actually - sometimes it’s not far off from what I had, growing up. High expectations from their parents, you know?”

“It was easier to think of the Slytherins as the bad guys.”

Harry shook his head. “They're just kids. Good kids with bad parents.”

“I’m happy for you, Harry. And I’m sorry about…”

“Me too.” Harry looked down at his feet, unsure what to say next.

“Do you think we could do dinner, together?”

“Well Draco’s done early on Fridays so we’re - “

“With Malfoy. Draco. Does he want to join us? Maybe we could eat in the kitchens instead of the Great Hall? A little more privacy there.”

Harry stiffened, “All of us? Hermione wants to eat dinner with Draco?”

“She’s really upset about what you said. About the three of us. These few months have been hard on her. I think she’s okay with you and a bloke now? But Malfoy. It’s still hard for her.”

“I’ll ask Draco and let you know.”

“Yeah, okay.” Ron pat him on the back. “We’ll work it out.”

“I can only hope.”

\--------

After talking it over with Draco, Harry sent a message to Ron to meet them in the puzzle room for a picnic. The puzzle would keep them busy if things got awkward.

Harry got there early to be sure the room was neat and orderly. He set out the little plates of finger foods the house elves had provided and waited impatiently for everyone to arrive. Thankfully Draco was first. He kissed Harry hard, distracting him from his worry.

A few minutes later, a nervous Ron and Hermione came in and sat across the table from Draco and Harry.

“The puzzle’s really coming along,” Ron said.

“Yeah, it’s kind of stalled. Between my classes, and the extra lessons, I haven’t had time to get up here.”

“We could use magic to put the last pieces in place. If you’re done with it.”

Harry shrugged. “Maybe.”

Draco passed out plates and everyone started eating. He cleared his throat. “Do you have plans for the Easter Holiday?”

Ron said something about the Burrow, and maybe visiting Hermione’s parents, when Harry cut him off. 

“I'm sorry, but I don't think idle chit chat is going to help us.”

Ron bit his lip and looked at Hermione. 

Harry continued, “We need to get it out in the open, talk about it all.” He stared at Hermione until she looked up. “Tell me again. All of it.”

“The war. It still feels like an open wound. I could ignore it when Malfoy was away, doing something else. When you were with Ginny, it felt like we were moving on, getting our happily ever after. But now here’s Malfoy,” she shook her head at her plate, “it just brings it all back to me.” She looked at Harry and Draco pleadingly, “I don’t want to play ‘who had it worse’ and bring up every bad thing that happened. But I don’t know how to move past it.”

Harry reached for her hand. “You get past it by talking about it. That’s what we did. I told him about the Dursleys, the nightmares, the Horcruxes. The - the forest.” Hermione’s eyes flared wide. “And in return, he shared the same. It’s not about ‘who had it worse.’ It’s about ‘I lived through a war too.’”

“I could tell you,” Draco said. “Maybe not all of it, but a story?”

Hermione stayed silent but inclined her head to indicate she was listening, still avoiding his eyes.

“My first accidental magic was when I was six years old. That’s a story for another day. But my mother planned a huge celebration dinner. All my favorite foods, and sweets upon sweets. The whole table was covered in fairy cakes, pastries, biscuits, chocolates. We just had to wait for my father. Only he was held up at the Ministry for hours. Finally, it was nearing bedtime and we couldn’t wait any longer. 

“I was starving and wanted to tear into my feast. My mother, my proper pureblood mother, threw her plate over her shoulder and grabbed a handful of cake and ate it.” Draco laughed softly at the memory. Harry took hold of his hand. 

Draco continued, “Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. She threw my plate too and offered me a tray of fairy cakes. Oh the mess we made! My father came in and saw us covered in sugary icing, crumbs and broken plates everywhere. ‘We’re celebrating!’ she shouted. He didn’t even hesitate. He scooped up a dollop of custard and ate it. It was the wildest, most exhilarating moment I’d ever experienced.”

Draco paused to wipe at his face. “Years later, I watched an innocent woman get murdered and eaten by a giant snake on that same table.”

A harsh silence settled around them. Hermione stared at Draco, unsure what to say. Draco spoke softly, “After. After it all, the memories were so bad, we had to get rid of it. I couldn’t take it. My father gave me an ax. I didn’t even use magic. I just - I spent six hours chopping away at the table and all its chairs until it was a pile of splinters. A four hundred year old antique and my father just set it on fire. We watched it burn the entire night.”

Draco met Hermione’s teary eyes and spoke steadily, “I know I made bad choices. Some of them were not choices at all. Some I made without understanding. Some I made because I thought the risk was worth it. Now it’s over. I’ve seen what was wrong and what I should have done differently but at the time… It was not so easy to see.”

He leaned forward to hold both her trembling hands. “We all had it bad. Good versus evil, it was all still war and it was all bad. We all carry scars, inside and out. And now, I have to ask your forgiveness and you have to decide to grant it or not. But we will never move forward without it.”

His voice, soft and gentle, carried in the stillness, “Will you forgive me?”

Hermione crumbled. She covered her face while Ron pulled her into a warm embrace. Harry took Draco’s hand and rested his head on Draco’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “Sorry I was so - “

“It’ll be all right, Hermione,” Harry said. “You’re allowed to be upset. This is new and confusing. But do you understand now? How Draco and I managed to grow closer? We’ve suffered enough.”

“I know. I’m still - I don’t know right now because it’s all just so much.” She wiped at her face with the handkerchief Ron conjured for her. “I need to think. But I’m sorry for being difficult. And I - I do forgive you, Mal - Draco,” her voice hitched on his name.

He gave her a gentle smile. “We’ll get there.”

\--------

Although things were vastly improved with Hermione, Harry opted to stay in Slytherin House. He still ate most of his meals at the Gryffindor table, usually joined by Draco. Both Ron and Hermione started coming to his study group, and little by little, they got to know some of the Slytherins like Harry did. Occasionally, Hermione would question someone extensively about their home life, but they learned it was more out of curiosity than malice. It helped her come to terms with the war and the way things happened.

Talk soon turned to the Easter Holiday. Harry was not surprised that nearly all the Slytherins were staying at the castle. He had planned on returning to Grimmauld Place, to check that it was still standing and in a semi-livable state for after graduation. His tentative suggestion that others were welcome to join him was met with great excitement.

“I should warn you that the house is a mess. It’s old and the house elf lives here now, so it’s not been cleaned in forever. It’s likely a wreck.”

“Oh no, this’ll be fun!” Zoe said excitedly.

“Really?”

“Yes!” Pansy agreed, “It’ll be a grand adventure!”

“Not to mention how great it’ll be to get away from here,” Little Marcus added.

“And not have to go back to Great Aunt Hildy,” said Violet, another seventh year, with a slight shudder.

“It’s settled then. I’ll get permission from McGonagall,” Harry said with a smile.

The Headmistress was surprisingly supportive. She requested a list of all the students that were going with Harry, insisting that all of them be of age and able to make the decision on their own. There were several disappointed students, but Harry assured them they’d be welcome next time.

Eleven Slytherins joined Harry and Draco on the train back to London. Ron and Hermione were going to visit their parents, but promised to stop by at the end of the holiday so they could head to the station together.

Harry was not mistaken in his guess. The house was full of cobwebs, suspicious animal droppings, and strange smells. The first night, they banished all the furniture from one of the bedrooms, scoured the walls and floor with cleaning charms, and conjured sleeping bags. They giggled through the night, woken frequently by creaking, scratching, and whistling through the house. Clearly there was much work to be done.

Over the week, they cleaned, mended, and vanished all over the house. Harry renewed many of the protective wards that were fading. Zoe went with Little Marcus and Benjamin to buy paint, and they spent two messy days painting every room in the house a different color.

Harry could not remember the last time he’d had so much fun.

Ron and Hermione loved the changes. They admired each room, laughing at all the stories about the restoration. Anjelica had taken pictures of the process and was eager to share her photos. The students left behind clamored to see and share their opinion.

“Wow, that paint is bright!”

“This room needs an extra window.”

“Did you think about maybe moving this window and adding another set of shelves here?”

“This room is huge! You could pad the walls and make it into a giant bouncy house!

Harry started researching magical remodeling, and getting his helpers to draw sketches of new ideas. Hermione was especially supportive of his efforts.

One late April afternoon in the library, she said, “It’s good to see you excited about something again, Harry.” 

“I hadn’t really considered the house to be salvageable. Really, I was just going to stay there until I could find a flat but it’s been fun making it over.”

“What will you do when it’s done?”

Harry rolled his eyes. Enough was never enough with her. “I don’t know. It’s kind of a ways off, yeah? I’m turning this room into a lab for Draco. Do you think here should be a sink along here? Or would be it better along this wall?” He looked over his drawing, then animated it so the sink would move to the other side of the room.

“You think it’s wise to have a potions lab in your home?”

“Yeah,” Harry laughed. “I’m a big fan of potions experimentation.”

Hermione’s brow furrowed but then she rolled her eyes with a smile. “Fine. Put the sink over here so it’s easy to reach.”

The rest of April and all of May were taken up by frantic revising as their exams neared. Hermione still hounded Harry about completing his homework but he shrugged it off. A whole term without a single assignment turned in would be a feat no other student had dared attempt. He hoped it would be added to his official biography.

Because of his study group, Harry was able to acquire a list of all the spells a student should have learned in the year, divided up by grade level. He broke his study group into smaller groups so they could review all the spells for their grade level. Most of the students were up to par after so many weeks of extra practice, and they went to their exams confident of their abilities.

Harry decided to sit for all five of his NEWTs. His time in the war and his time spent tutoring had rounded out his skills enough that he could probably get at least an acceptable in all of them. He almost joined the Potions NEWT class, just to tweak Stanton’s nose, but didn’t want to distract Draco.

Their last exam finished, the NEWT students were gathered in the courtyard enjoying the warm sun. Harry was happy to see everyone milling around, laughing in small groups regardless of House. It especially warmed him to see Hermione talking freely with Draco about their Ancient Runes exam. There were still tense moments, but each day was better.

After dinner, Draco dragged Harry back to Slytherin for a special surprise. Harry felt his prick swell, thinking of the delicious activites his boyfriend could come up with now that they had free time, especially after the frantic, rushed fucking they’d had all week while Draco worried about exams.

In their dorm, Draco insisted Harry borrow clothes, claiming Harry had nothing appropriate. Bemused, Harry dressed in the snug-fitting black trousers, and black and white t-shirt Draco gave him. Blaise, Theo, and Draco dressed in similar black and white clothing. As they left their dorm, the loud thumping bass of music spilled from the common room, assaulting Harry’s senses.

Harry stopped in shock at the door to the common room. Everyone was wearing black and white clothes, dancing in a large group in the center of the room. Their clothing glowed in the swirling light of schools of bioluminescent fish swimming by the large lakeside windows. Trays of food and drinks floated around, while music thumped from seemingly everywhere. 

“What the fuck? It’s like a rave in here!” Harry said, completely gobsmacked. “How do you not get in trouble for this?”

Draco laughed and snagged them drinks from a passing tray, “That’s what security is for! A few of the students set up wards to make sure no one outside can hear it.” He tossed back the drink and handed Harry the other glass. “Stay hydrated! It’ll get hot as fuck in here before too long.”

Harry gulped down his own drink, relieved to find only apple juice, and dropped the glass on a table before Draco pulled him out onto the makeshift dance floor. Harry didn’t know what to do with himself but Draco spun him around and held himself flush against Harry’s back. With arms wrapped around Harry’s waist, he directed their movements until Harry could sway and jump along on his own.

Students danced and laughed with wild abandon through the evening. Around eleven, the younger kids were herded off to bed. Harry worried that without young eyes watching, the whole thing would devolve into some weird sort of orgy but the only change was in the general language. Suddenly everyone was using “fuck” like a comma and Harry couldn’t be bothered to care.

He loved the feel of Draco grinding up against him. The free and open joy on everyone’s faces. The music that drowned out all his worries. When things started to wind down, and the music slowed until only a few swaying couples remained, Draco dragged him off to their dorm to collapse in a heap on Harry’s bed.

The following morning, Harry was glad for the dim lighting under the lake. Although there was no alcohol at the party, he still felt the groggy disorientation that came from lack of sleep. A quick shower and fresh clothes did much to perk him up. 

In the common room, the early risers were steadily working on clean-up. Harry joined in, stacking trays to return to the kitchen, vanishing bits of trash, rearranging the furniture, and dismantling the wards that would be suspicious if their Head of House found them.

Harry hesitated to join the group of students heading down to breakfast, but Draco emerged fresh and pressed for the day in time to go with them.

“Oh! There you are!” Harry said happily. “You missed the clean-up.”

Draco kissed him good morning. “I attend the party. I do not clean up after the party. That’s fourth year work.”

“How do you keep the house elves out for the night time cleaning?”

“Food detail tells them not to clean that evening. They probably report it straight to the Headmistress but years of post-exam parties has never once yielded any kind of discipline. So long as we keep it from the rest of the school, it’s fine.”

Harry sat with Draco at the Slytherin table, still awed that they could shift from wild partiers to sedate tea drinkers in the blink of an eye. With exams over, talk turned to summer plans.

“I’m going to work on the remodel,” Harry said tentatively. Several ears perked up at that. “And I could use some help.” 

Smiles lit up along the table.

\--------

Restoration of Grimmauld Place became a massive group project. Harry took in many students that had nowhere to go for the summer holiday, or perhaps nowhere pleasant. Over the eight weeks, they worked like house elves expanding, changing, and fixing all that was wrong with the house. When the following fall came around, he took the few rising seventh years to the train station to see them off. Draco was among them, returning to Hogwarts to officially begin his Potions Mastery course with Professor Stanton.

“Tell me again why you can’t manage this year by owl?” Harry mumbled into Draco’s neck, arms tight around his waist.

Draco ran his hand up Harry’s back to rest on the nape of his neck. “I need direct supervision for the first year. Next year, I can just send samples and reports.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

“You’re going to be too busy to miss me.”

The train whistle sounded. 

Harry kissed Draco one last time, and slapped him on the arse. “Miss me!” he shouted at Draco’s retreating form. Draco flipped him too fingers and blew him a kiss.

Harry returned home to a house full of newly graduated students, and began a new sort of lesson. Week by week, he introduced the nervous witches and wizards to the joys of the muggle world in a way Muggle Studies classes could never quite manage. At the same time, they improved their life skills and found various jobs, both in the magical and muggle communities. By December, most felt confident enough to get flats of their own and begin the rest of their lives.

\--------

_June 2013_

“Draco? Did you decide if you’re coming with me or not?” Harry poked his head into the lab, laughing at the disgruntled look on Draco’s face.

Draco sighed heavily. “I might as well. This piece of shit potion isn’t ever going to turn pink.” With an angry swish of his wand, Draco vanished the contents of his cauldron.

“Maybe you should add more… mushrooms?” Harry trailed off. He didn’t even know what was in that potion. But he loved to tell Draco to add mushrooms to everything. After all, he reminded him, it was a mushroom that changed the entire course of his life.

Draco rolled his eyes and removed the robe he only used in the lab. Harry’s eyes swept down his bare chest to the tight pants he wore. Draco smirked. “We have a train to meet, get that look off your face.”

Harry shrugged with fake nonchalance. “Fine. But you’ll regret not taking advantage of me now, when our house is filled with babbling students.”

Draco pinned Harry to the wall and kissed him slowly, deliberately. For a moment, Harry thought he had won. Draco rocked his hips into Harry and nibbled kisses along his jaw, down his neck. He whispered softly, “We have a train to meet.” He pushed himself away and pulled on fresh robes, leaving Harry panting and hard. Sexy little fuck.

Together they apparated to the train station to meet the Hogwarts Express. There were twenty students joining them for the summer. According to the the Headmaster’s report, four needed a safe place to stay for the holiday, eight would benefit from the structure and lessons Harry taught to bring them up to speed in their magical education, and eight needed a leg up on post graduate life. It was a good mix of students.

Pansy and Theo hugged them both hello. Pansy was brimming with excitement to have their son home for the summer. His first year away had been hard for her, despite the two other children she had to take care of.

“Did you get my owl about next week?”

“Oh yes, did I forget to reply?” Pansy shook her head. “Dahlia is still have trouble keeping food down so it’s been - well, I guess I didn’t have time to respond. But yes, I’m fine coming over later in the day.”

“That’s great. Ginny’s hoping a morning fly time will be easier on the kids. Last year they exhausted themselves with cooling charms.”

Pansy nodded agreement. “It gets so hot in the afternoons! Ugh. Anyway, yes, I’d be happy to change things up. Let me know how many students I’ll have. Last year we had ten in the class and I think we should have broken it up into two smaller groups.”

“I’ll let you know. Maybe we can - “ Harry broke off as the shrill whistle sounded. Pansy hugged Theo and bounced on her toes, waiting for the train to stop. Harry took Draco’s hand and they smiled at each other.

It was going to be another busy summer. But a good one.


End file.
